the life of jake...

the one about fish tacos

2012-02-15T12:36:00.003-06:00

I think if I really wanted my parents to be repulsed by one of the more horrible choices I have made in my life (according to them), I bet you would never guess it would be a choice of food. First of all, sushi is foreign to them, so they would never in a million years think it was something other than a “trendy food I eat to appear cool among my friends.” Truth is, I don’t get to eat it enough, as we are land-locked for hundreds of miles, but there are some decent places in Memphis; Sushi Café in Little Rock is the best sushi I have ever had around these parts. Being foreign to my family, they don’t seem as repulsed by it as they do another fishy favorite of mine—fish tacos. I think it’s because when they think tacos, they think hard-shelled corn tortillas, with ground beef, sour cream, and cheddar cheese—not filled with blackened tilapia. The only fish they prefer is fried catfish, well done. So the idea of wrapping fish in a tortilla is horrifying beyond measure. This is kind of like when I ordered lobster quesadillas this summer in Rosemary--lobster is not for a quesadillas--chicken is. Within my group of friends we always reserve a day in the summer, after a good summer rain when all the farmers are out of the field, to dedicate to fish taco day. They are always so good.

So last night I had an awesome Valentine’s date with my whole family. We decided to go to Half Shell in Memphis for dinner—always an excellent choice. After reviewing the menu, and trying to eliminate just one thing I didn’t want, I decided on my entrée. I bet you can guess what I chose. Fish Tacos. I didn’t get the usual curl of the nose that comes along with my even mentioning this dish, so I thought I may get them to try a bite. Then, I heard my Dad say “I am thinking about ordering that as well.” I about fell out of my chair. He didn’t order them (he went with the reliable filet) but told me he wanted to try a bite of mine. He did, and he really enjoyed it. Mom politely declined…I encourage you to try fish tacos if you have never given them a chance...

With our time together as a family, we also decided on a trip this summer. Last year we went to the beach at Rosemary (as a family) for the first time since we went to Disney World in 1995. I go places, Matthew goes places, Mom and Dad go places together, but we haven’t all four been together for a whole week since I was in the 5^th grade at Magic Kingdom. It was go great we decided to do it more often, so this year we are going to Santa Monica/LA/Hollywood. And you will never guess whose idea this was—I’ll give you a hint—not mine. It was Matthew’s idea. He said he has always wanted to go to LA. Who knew? (my vote was Hawaii, but I get to pick in 2014). So we decided to stay at the beach in an awesome house we found on VRBO (with the coolest owners), and do some day trips to LA/Hollywood. Fun times to be had. We have reserved our place to stay—I really wanted to stay in Malibu, but the drive from there to LA is not as quick and easy as it is from the Santa Monica/Marina Del Rey area. Mom liked Malibu because that is where Two and a Half Men live. I can’t wait for summer break…

until next time…

the one about the grammys

2012-02-13T11:06:00.004-06:00

I watched the Grammys last night. They were just average to me, for more reasons than one. First of all they were way too long. No one wants to dedicate three and a half hours to an awards show. Secondly, I would have liked to have seen less of Paul McCartney pretending to know the words to Rhinestone Cowboy, and more (or any) of Beyonce, Jay-Z, Kanye, and The Band Perry. Don’t you know it must suck to hear you are getting to perform at the Grammys, only to find out you are doing a cover of someone else’s music?

I have a few favorites (and not so favorites) to discuss. The nicest moment of the night was LL Cool J leading the crowd in prayer for Whitney Houston. I think it is really great that he did that. I also think it was disrespectful for those who did not bow their heads. If you noticed, every country star had his or her head bowed. That says a lot about country music; not to belittle any other genres, because they participated also. I think it’s a reassuring thought that celebrities still put God first…

Other favorite moments: Adele. Duh. Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt singing Sunday Kind of Love. I think Bonnie Raitt is pretty awesome. I like that it seemed like more of an impromptu, casual performance rather than the much too soon tribute to Whitney. This is my thought on that. It was a bit startling to hear the voice of someone so close in tone to that of Whitney’s less than 24 hours after her passing. It was almost like she had come back from the dead. I found it very heartfelt and pure, but I was apprehensive.

My favorite performance was definitely Bruno Mars. I think he is so fly. He has something about him that is really captivating and real. I love that he told the audience to “Get off their rich asses..” It’s not like he is putting on an act like stupid Nicki Minaj. She is not even worth mentioning, and I am SO glad she didn’t win Best New Artist. The second best performance was Coldplay. They too are awesome. I think Apple will be blessed with much artistic ability.

I was a little bummed that The Band Perry did not win Best New Artist, but Bon Iver is seems pretty cool. I like that he called his win a “sweet hookup.”

Best Dressed—Rhianna. Worst Dressed—Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift.

What do you think Gaga is thinking in this picture of her and Miranda Lambert?

the one about a new find

2012-02-08T09:56:00.006-06:00

I have found a true gem. I would not say that I have a hard time sleeping at night since it is one of my favorite things to do, so I think I am good at it. Sometimes, though, I have a hard time falling asleep (if I don't take Benadryl). I don't like to take things to make me go to sleep, because I have this horrible thought that I will become addicted. All natural sleep aids, like melatonin, exist, but you have probably read about my aversion to it in my 24 randoms post. I have nightmares every time. In steps a liquid version, my new found glory. I decided to give it a try. The instructions told me to take it twenty minutes before I am ready to go to sleep. Next time, I will take it while I am ready to put my head on the pillow, as I nearly fell smooth asleep while brushing my teeth. It is that good. I took about a teaspoon and slept like a little baby, without one single nightmare.

This morning I decided to make a crockpot meal to be ready for dinner this evening. It is so simple and so good. All it consists of is two boneless-skinless chicken breasts, a can each of 98% fat free cream of mushroom and cream of chicken, a can of rotel, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and cumin. Low and slow all day and serve over rotini smart taste penne pasta. The last time I attempted this I was so excited to come home to kitchen filled with that familiar smell, only to find raw chicken floating in grossness. I knew I tuned the crockpot on, but I forgot to plug the damn thing in the wall. Duh, Jake. Then I tried to pick it up to move it even remotely close to a plug in, and dropped the whole thing, shattered the inside, and had to ask for a new crockpot for Christmas. Let’s hope I plugged it in today…

Update on afterschool tutoring: It didn’t work out. I can’t blame the kids. If I was a ninth grader with below basic algebra scores, I would not come to after school tutoring if it did not benefit me in any way other than potentially raising my benchmark score to keep me out of a semester of remediation classes…Um, sike. Yes I would because I cared about my grades. I went to a tutor in Memphis twice a week for four weeks before the ACT to raise my score. It came up 5 whole points. By the way, I took the Math portion of the ACT not too terribly long ago, and I only missed 5 questions. Mind you, I did it over a few hours, with breaks. But that would be like scoring a 34. Toot toot. So I am not staying after school any more, which is sort of nice. I like my afternoons and I don’t care too much for students who think 2 goes into 10 fifty four times, or 6 times 8 is 4…

until next time…

the one about the weekend

2012-02-07T17:18:00.003-06:00

What I learned this weekend was really good. I decided on Sunday I needed to start going to Sunday School again. I have just been lazy and not going. Bottom line. I forgot how much I missed it. It’s like Bible 101. I volunteered to read a scripture we were discussing and it really hit hard. It’s all about testing faith and what should be done if the situation arises. It’s one of my favorites—Matthew 4:1-11. Read it, it’s good.

I also learned I might have a tie for my favorite TV show. I always choose American Idol, but as of late, The Voice has really stepped it up. I think I like it so much because the judges are legit. Adam Levine is awesome. Cee Lo is 4th place as far as coolness, but he still makes it work. I have a hard time looking at him. Christina has one of the best voices, ever. And Blake Shelton is witty. Also, he did a pretty good job with his take on Prince’s Kiss. I think the show is more captivating from the beginning. Idol doesn’t get good until mid-Hollywood. It starts this week, so it should be good…

Tim Tebow may do Dancing With the Stars. Not sure that he will shake it if he won’t even take his jeans off for an underwear ad…Other rumored cast members include Kendall and/or Kylie Jenner (too young), Sherri Shepherd, PeeWee Herman, and one of the crazy Housewives from Beverly Hills. I would like to see a real star dance. They use that term loosely. Should beDancing with the “Has-Beens”

I know nothing more about the NFL than I did before the Super Bowl. I do know that Madonna still has it. And Kelly Clarkson’s hair doesn’t help the lesbian rumors.

Friday, I painted a bit, but decided it was the perfect day to cross something off of my 28 new dishes to cook this year. Real Italian Meatballs. I have always been a fan of anything Italian. I secretly think I could live off of pasta and garlic and bread. I use the term “real Italian” loosely, because the real ones have a mixture of ground meats, but I chose to use only ground beef. Mostly because the closest place that sells ground pork or veal is Fresh Market an hour away. It’s like a celebration to be had when our grocery store has fresh cilantro. It’s few and far between. So I made them like this:

1 lb. lean ground beef

1 cup parmesan, freshly grated

1 egg

½ cup panko bread crumbs

1 tbs. course ground mustard

1 tsp. prepared horseradish

½ onion, sautéed in buttah

2 cloves garlic, minced

½ cup tomato sauce

I combined all the ingredients and rolled into about 24 meat balls. In a cast iron dutch oven, I heated about ¼ cup vegetable oil, and cooked the meatballs in 3 batches. I placed them on a paper towel to drain. Then the magic happened when I deglazed the pan with about a cup of pinot noir (then I drank the rest of the bottleJ)I added a large can of crushed tomatoes, small can of diced tomatoes, and 2 cans of tomato sauce. Then I added the usual suspects: salt+pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, oregano, and a bit of thyme. Added the meatballs to the sauce, and simmered about 40 minutes. So good over smart taste, high fiber penne.

Forgive my photo. It was night and there was no natural light..

a painting for mother and dad

until next time...

the one with friday's four (2.3.12)

2012-02-03T18:22:00.006-06:00

Friday’s Four for this week are random. Once again, just as I am (without one pleat, but that thy blood was shed for me….)

1. Contrary to my Dad’s beliefs, I do watch the news. Rather, I read the news everyday. If something is really important, Yahoo! or MSN will inform me. Yesterday I rode to school with Mrs. Gruby, and we listened to the Forrest City radio program. The ABC news report informed us of sugar’s harmful repercussions. I completely agree with the government needing to have a hand in controlling the massive amounts of sugar uneducated Americans consume on a daily basis. Ultimately, everything has sugar, but there is no sense in consuming so much. Did you know a regular soda has 39 grams of sugar? That’s equivalent to nearly 4 tablespoons of sugar or ¼ cup. It might help the medicine go down, but the chance of having a leg amputated from diabetes go way up. I also am a firm believer in the government mandating a drug test prior to anyone receiving welfare or any other type of government aid. Don't get me started.

2. I am making my "real" Italian meatballs tonight...stay tuned for a review...

3. Do you all remember in high school when you had to read Macbeth and Julius Caesar and hated every second of it? I remember we did Caesar in Dr. Gist’s junior English class. We listened to it on a record player. Probably the very same record player she used to teach my Dad, 30 years earlier. I remember I got called out for laughing during the recording. One scene was just funny to me for some reason. We all questioned when it would ever be useful for us after our days at Lee Academy. Now, as a teacher myself, I am glad I learned about Shakespeare and his cast of characters. It all came screaming back to me when some of my seniors were assigned to write a paper on a theme most relevant to them from Macbeth. (Their AP English teacher is awesome!) I read some of their papers and they were amazing. I encouraged them to continue writing after high school, whether it be in a journal or blog or for an editorial, because it keeps their minds sharp.

4. I am not an NFL fan for the most part. I do, however, love the Superbowl. I have not followed either team this year, but I am rooting for the Giants. I don’t just pick a team to root for based on the team colors or the mascot. I like the Giants because Eli Manning is a former SEC boy—albeit, an Ole Miss boy…That’s how I made my completely rationale decision to support the Giants. And, let’s face it, NYC is one of my favorite places…

Until next time...

the one about tutoring.

2012-02-02T16:39:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I started my after school tutoring. I was a little hesitant, because ultimately I am teaching an algebra class. Math has always been my strongest area. I can’t tell you one thing about (nor am I at all interested in anything that has to do with) science. I remember in high school, my chemistry teacher had us create a project with molecules and bonds and whatever else is chemistry related. She said it would be based on creativity. SOLD. I can make anything creative. I think she did that specifically for me because she knew I would fail had it been based on my knowledge and understanding of anything chemistry related (thanks Mrs. Glanita). Our biology teacher was in a league of his own. He was severely bipolar and quit in the middle of the year (probably because we didn’t know about his illness and tried so hard to make him quit—we won). So needless to say, I don’t know much about anything in the science field.

So luckily for me, I am not tutoring the science students. Algebra is something a student either gets, or doesn’t. There is not much in between. So yesterday, After teaching them how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide fractions, I passed out a worksheet for them to work on. After about 15 minutes, they were all complete. I asked if anyone had any questions. With no hands going in the air, I was happy to get to move along to the next lesson. Then I thought to myself, more than likely these kids don’t have this down, or they would not be in after school tutoring. So I had one go up to the board and work a problem. WRONG. Right off the bat, he didn’t even find the least common multiple to make his denominators the same. Same pattern from then on—no one got a problem correct. So we worked on fractions the majority of the time. (Except for the time spent teaching a kid that 2 did not go into 10 FIFTY FOUR times—really, where is Ashton because I was certain I was being punked.)

While they were working on a few problems, the lights started flickering. OK, no big deal this happens frequently…Then they completely went out, and the kids became uneasy, along with their teacher (mainly because I could not see my hand in front of my face—to find my cell phone). That is when my cell phone lit up with a text from my Dad: A tornado is in Poplar Grove (about 2 miles from my school), YOU NEED TO TAKE COVER. Inside I was freaking out. I have to keep my composure; I have 5 kids under my watch. We go to the restroom and wait for the storm to pass. So my blog about not being scared of storms proved to talk the talk, but clearly I am a 3^rd grade girl when I know there is a storm really close…We all ended up fine, but never again will I take storms lightly…

until next time…

the one with 24 random facts

2012-02-01T15:25:00.002-06:00

The last time I did this, it was fun for me and for y’all, I hope…the last time I did this, I did 25 random facts about myself. Since I don’t like odd numbers, I will do 24 “interesting” facts about me. You can see the first one I did (way back in 2009) right here.

1. If I had to choose one place to vacation every singe year for the rest of my life, I would choose New York City. I have only been once, and say I live 50 more years, I would never run out of things to do. There it literally something new on every corner. Some may question why I wouldn’t choose a tropical location…but if I need a beach, a short drive to the Hamptons would allow me to spend time with the Graysons and Amanda Clark.

2. If I won the lottery, the first thing I would do is give ten percent to the church. This is another reason why I don’t understand why I don’t win. I have made a promise to the Man upstairs…The second thing I would buy is a Range Rover. Duh.

3. The very first movie I went to the theater to see was Home Alone. I still remember that night, and that movie is still one of my all-time favorites. Look what you did you little jerk…

4. I hate fish that live in the water. I like to eat fish, but if I catch one at my feet when I am in the lake, I will damn near walk on water.

5. If I had to give up one of my five senses, I would give up smell. I have the most sensitive sniffer. I know Tom Ford cologne smells best on me, and I don’t like many other scents, so that would be fine. Everything I (Miss Opal, rather) use as far as cleaning supplies is unscented. Free and clear detergent is the best. I can’t stand fruity, flowery smells on me.

6. I love to read John Grisham’s books. My favorite is The Firm, followed closely by The Last Juror, The Summons, and A Painted House. The new TV series is not nearly as good as it could be. He needs to make a trip back to Memphis…

7. If my house caught on fire, and I could only grab one thing, I would choose two things. My computer—it has every picture I have ever taken, every song I have ever purchased (or stolen from napster, limewire, or frostwire), and all of the other important things I have. I would also choose the bag of function tee’s I have from college. I bought every single one, and the take me back to the days Mom deposited money every week into my bank account, I ate out almost every meal, and I was young and wild and free.

8. If someone told me I could choose the last meal I was ever going to eat, I would cry because I would know I was about to die, but then I would choose my mama’s meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and Mexican cornbread. I have watched her make these things literally a hundred times, but mine NEVER tastes like hers. She even makes tea better than I make. Something about a Mama’s touch.

9. Say there is a movie in the works about my life. I know, notta. But just in case, I would have the following people cast as my characters: My mom would be Sally Field, my dad would be Harrison Ford, I would be Brad Pitt (obviously), my brother would be Matthew McConaughey, Ashley would be Snooki, Mendy would be Bonnie Hunt, Jay would be Alec Baldwin, Trent would be Danny Tanner or Bob Saget, and Marilyn would be Drew Barrymore, Bill would be Jack Black, and Shea would be Wendy from the Wonder Years.It would be an ensemble cast for a hilariously funny comedy. Not romantic comedy—like The Hangover comedy.

10. My name is just Jake. Not Jacob. That is one of my peeves when someone’s name is like Roberto Deigo Huntington, VI and he goes by Bob.

11. I have lots of pet peeves. My top three (currently) include, but are certainly not limited to, children rolling from one computer to another instead of standing up and walking; I can’t stand to hear someone use “the” when it's not necessary—example (THE sonic, Oh really, is there just one?; THE Facebook—I do remember long ago, when we had to type thefacebook.com); and lastly, hearing a story told more than once. I will most likely stop you mid-sentence to let you know I have infact heard this before, from you. It is different when it’s real funny…

12. I am not a morning person. It would not be too far fetched to say, I would be fine if I went all the way to lunch without talking to anyone. I don’t like the morning. But I am in bed by nine every night, so I guess I am not a night owl either. I just like sleep. A lot.

13. I am not superstitious. I think all things happen for a reason. I also don’t think much is coincidental or ironic. Not even ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

14. If I had to describe myself using only three words, they would be sarcastic—more often than not, I am very sarcastic, and so are most of my friends; loyal—I have your back if you are my friend; and easy going until you do something to change that. Usually, I am pretty laid back.

15. If there happened to be a camera in my shower, it would catch me singing my own songs. I make up a new song all the time, and it always is to the tune of the National Anthem or Vision of Love by Mariah Carey.

16. If I could choose one thing from which I could erase all of the calories, it would be a cheese coney from Sonic. I haven’t had one in forever, but I could eat them all the time (and I did in high school with a large Dr. Pepper) if they were fat and calorie free.

17. I can’t take Melatonin, the supposedly wonderful night time sleep aid, because all three times I have taken it in the past have resulted in my having nightmares. The last one I had, I was forced to line up everyone in my family and shoot them. I didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. You know how I feel about sleep. Refer to above…

18. If I could go back to any year in my life, I would choose to be 21 again. It was my junior year of college, my friends and I did so many fun things that I will remember for the rest of my life, and I wished it away. To have that one year back would be great.

19. I have recently given up diet coke. I thought I would go bat shit crazy, but it hasn’t been bad. I am currently on day 16. No carbonated beverages, only water, coffee, and G2.

20. My middle name is Chandler. Funny how that worked out, being Chandler is one of my favorite TV characters. This is a fun game to play: One weekend I spent at the lake with a bunch of friends that were new to most of us. Instead of trying to remember each other’s names, we made an "adult" game out of it. We had to choose our favorite character from our favorite TV show. Naturally, I picked Friends and Chandler it was. All weekend. We had a Monica and Rachel too. You should try it…

21. The most vivid childhood memory I have is one that is about my brother, Matthew (McConaughey). He always did everything I dared him to do (usually he will still do anything he is dared to do). I dared him to try to ride his bicycle up a tree. He got really far away from the tree and started peddling really fast. He rode about 2 feet up the tree and then flipped over backward and just lay on the concrete with his eyes closed. I legitimately freaked out. I thought he was dead. Then he came to after a few seconds and did not even cry. We took him to the doctor that told him he would have a goose egg for seven years, all because of my dare.

22. I thought everyone knew this about me, but apparently Mendy didn’t, so who else needs to know that my first vehicle was a 4Runner. Not the last one I had, I had another for a few months. I got it a few months before my 16^th birthday, and according to my parents I would go to jail and die if I drove one single day (by myself) before I turned 16. So in April, I was working at Double G Farms, and I needed something from my dad. He would not answer the radio or the phone. I went on a search for him. While I was looking, I noticed my phone was in the floor and I needed to call him once more. I reached for my phone and the next thing I remember, I was in the back seat with my blinker in my hand since that's apparently all I could hold on to. I flipped, twice. Therefore I am on 4Runner number 3.

23. Speaking of vehicle problems, one time when I lived in the Sigma Chi house, I high-centered my go cart car on a rock. After much pushing and pulling and burning all kinds of rubber, I had to call the towing company to get me unstuck. They knew my name, as I got towed about once a month.

24. Yet another vehicle situation--I am currently waiting on August to get here so I will have a clear driving record for the first time since I was able to drive. You see, in August of 2009 I was on my way home from Memphis when I got off the interstate at Lee-Hi to take the “old way” home. Being it was August, the produce stand was full of color. As I was deciphering a visit to the stand, I looked up and realized I was about to smash into the back of the car in front of me. Before I could get my feet back into my chacos, I was all tangled and I rear-ended the car in front of me. I hit them so hard, they hit the person on front of them. So I was double fined with wreckless driving and an accident.

the one about the green monster

2012-01-31T10:09:00.011-06:00

I am no picture of health, but I try my hardest to make smart choices when it comes to food. I have officially grossed my students out to the max. They are always curious about my healthy eating habits, being a foreign issue to them. They think Jungle Juice is healthy, as it's clearly an all-natural a fruit. And Flamin' hot cheetos are an excellent source of dairy, since obviously, it's cheese. Duh, Mista G. Don't even get me started on their "healthy salad" swimming in full fat ranch dressing. This week I have been secretly concealing my breakfast of choice--Green Monster Smoothie. Sure, it looks like a baby's diarrhea diaper, but I promise it's just as delicious as it is richly nutritious. Today I think I grossed out Mrs. Gruby as well when she picked me up for school this morning. I opened my smoothie and she made the most awful face. Mind you, she is a routine kind of girl, and eats the same thing for breakfast and lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY. She is not a fan of trying new things. But it works for her, so I commend her. She does eat healthfully, but I would get tired of a peanut butter and raisin sandwich every day. So when I got to school, my students were just as perplexed by that "green junk" in my container. They were ok with it being all fruit until I told them it had spinach in it. That is off limits to them--far too healthy. But come to think of it, spinach is relatively new to my diet. By new, I mean post high school. (BTW: My TEN year high school reunion is next year. Seriously?)

Yesterday I had more of my leftover soup I posted about yesterday. I am having it again for lunch today. It's that good. Except I volunteered to participate in Benchmark night at school tonight, and had to bring some "props" from my house. My hands were full and as I was getting out of the vehicle, I dropped my soup and the container (that was not lock and lock, because had it been, it would not have) shattered. The bottom busted and most of the soup leaked out. Talk about a way to ruin my day. Boo. But soup is another thing Gruby won't eat because she got mono in high school and ate soup for a week, so she is repulsed any type of liquid one is too eat with a spoon. She'll stick to peanut butter and raisins. I don't blame her because in the fourth grade I ate too much of my mom's amazing chicken and dumplings and spewed all over my bedroom walls that night, so I haven't had them since...funny the way that happens...

until next time...

I "stole" this picture of the smoothie from:
http://www.chasingthenow.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/big-green-monster-smoothie_thumb.jpg

the one about what I learned this weekend

2012-01-31T08:09:00.002-06:00

I learned a few things this weekend.

The first thing I learned is I can’t start and finish 8 paintings in one weekend. You see, Painting is kind of like cooking. Except when I cook, I am all over the place just as I am when I paint. If makes good sense to prep your ingredients/supplies, and use some sort of method. At one time I had rolls of canvas stretched out, stretcher bars lined up for days, and every single paint color of the rainbow strewn around my house and on my clothes. So needless to say I didn’t fulfill my new thing I never done on the 28th of this month. I planned on January 28 being the first time I ever completed more than 4 paintings in one day. Didn’t happen. I probably could if the canvases had been pre-stretched and pre-primed. However, did compete one painting, and started on 4 more..

The second thing I learned is that I am the only person that stands in the way of my life and how it evolves. There is no since in my sulking around, being sour about not having a dream job. Not that I am going to pick up and move to a tropical island to be a cabana boy, but I am starting to do some research to find out what I really want to do.

The third thing I learned is Sunday Funday is not fun if I am alone. I long for Sundays. I love to be lazy, watch too many movies, and eat some sort of unhealthy entrée that I don’t eat during the week. Sunday is cheat day. Always. Usually it’s Country Club buffet after church and then for dinner it’s burgers, potato casserole, pizza, or something with too many calories. Since I had a late night on Saturday, I decided to stay at home and chill at my house, despite the fact the weather was perfect, and I stayed inside all day. Boo. I did make one of my favorite soups ever. Here is the link.

The fourth thing I learned is that I still know my way around a back road. After we got home from Memphis, we decided to take a back road. I could say this is something I have never done before, and it was on the 28th, but that would be a lie. You see, when I was in high school we did a lot of back roading. However, I can say I have never done it in a suburban. It was always a truck. So there you have it. I also could say I have never stopped on a bridge in the middle of nowhere, just to take a group picture to hang on my group picture wall, but I have done that also...

SIDENOTE: This whole “doing a new thing on the 28th” makes me think of the Friends episode with all the resolutions: Chandler’s is to not make fun, and Ross’s is to try something new every day. Is that “the new thing you do today?” says Chandler to Ross in a very sarcastic tone complete with air quotes (in another episode, Joey has no idea what “air quotes” are...) The humor is never ending, and never gets old to me.
Hope you all had a good weekend, and here’s to a great week at work. Who says you don’t learn something new every day? I do…

until next time…

the one with friday's four

2012-01-27T17:03:00.003-06:00

This week’s Friday four are random. This week has been one of the worst weeks yet at school. One of my wise teacher friends (MF) credited the students’ bad behavior directly to this week’s full moon. Who knows?

1. Demi Moore. Has she turned into a train wreck or what? This is my diagnosis—I think she is having a horrible combination of a midlife crisis and coping with the fact that she is going to have to find someone her own age (if she is lucky) to re-marry. I also think her kids march to the beat of their own drums and she wants them to be someone they are not. Ashton was crazy to marry her. I never have, nor will I ever be convinced they were ever in love. All he loves is twitter. To be anorexic or bulimic must be horrible. I guess I just associate throwing up with myself when I do it, since I don’t frequently see people throwing up, and when I do it, it is U-G-L-Y. I swear it comes out of my ears. TMI. Also, she was doing Adderall and whip-its..let’s be real, I know she likes to associate with a younger crowd, but whip-its…Really?? What—are you in the 10^th grade again?

2. This week has been horrible. As previously mentioned, it could be the full moon effect. It could also include, but certainly not be limited to the fact that I haven’t had a diet coke in 12 days. I never thought I could do it. On my 28x28 list, I said no caffeine, but that would just be impossible. So make that no diet cokes for 28 days. I would be extra grumpy if I had no coffee.

3. I need to make a move a get on some long-term plan making. I have always said I wouldn’t be a teacher forever. While I love my job, I have other plans. I have seriously considered an MBA. I need to. I really want to be an accountant, CPA. Where to do it? Memphis, Ole Miss, Fayetteville?? Who knows. I don’t, but God does—Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails, Proverbs 19:21

4. I have plans to paint this weekend.. I will update with pictures on Sunday. I have plans to paint for my most well-paying customer, Mother. This is how we roll. I paint for her, she pays my insurance. It’s a pretty sweet deal, because I come out on top—she knows this, and still cooperates. One of the many reasons I love her more than she knows.

Have a great weekend!

until next time…

the one about my bad day

2012-01-26T08:26:00.003-06:00

You know how you have those days that EVERY single thing gets on your nerves. Guess what? Yesterday was that day for me. It is not good to be a teacher and have a day like this, especially since I am usually happy-go-lucky. What makes a day like this worse you ask? When everyone asks “What’s wrong?” or “Your not acting like yourself..” It really makes me want to tell them something that would get me fired. The real answer is something like I would rather be anywhere but here right now.. So the things that nearly sent me over the edge today are:

1. When some of my students are talking about gossip that they think they now something about, but really haven’t a clue what the real story is. The conversation goes something like this: “They said he wasn’t going fast..” “Well they told me he was…” “That’s not what they said” To say “they” so frequently means you have no idea what you are talking about so zip it.

2. I have a lab full of computers as my classroom. With computer desks come rolling chairs. Yesterday if I had a chainsaw, I would have sawed every single wheel off those chairs. To me, the sound of a rolling chair is like nails on a chalkboard. And BTW, you might lose a bit of that extra thirty pounds from eating fire Cheetos and sugary jungle juice if you would stand up and walk where you need to go instead of rolling.

3. Liars. Why not just tell me you are in the building during lunch because it is raining and you don’t want your hair to get wet instead of trying to come up with a fake, on the spot story, to keep me from writing you up.

4. Small Talk. Especially yesterday. Like if, hypothetically, I went to the teacher's lounge to pick something up from the copy machine, don't feel obligated to talk about how strange the weather is. I know the forecast. It's supposed to rain and turn cold, then get warm, then rain, and turn cold again. I know this info not because I watched the weather, but because 8 other people have told me this already. If I am talking to you, it's because I want to know your story, or I am thoroughly interested in you as a person. Otherwise, smile and nod.

I saw this on a friend's Facebook page, and it describes me (and a lot of my friends) perfectly:

until next time...

the one about oscar nominations

2012-01-24T13:03:00.003-06:00

Award shows are interesting. I like the Golden Globes the best because they include TV and movies, comedy and drama. What I don’t get is how the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences comes up with the nominees. It could also be that I am shallow-minded and don’t see the award worthiness of the nominated films. I was happy to see Melissa McCarthy’s name in the best supporting actress category for her hilarious work in Bridesmaids. See this is where I differ; why wasn’t Zach Gilifianakis nominated for Hangover 2? In my opinion, he was hysterical and should win. I also thought Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 should have been given a nod as best picture. I am not even a huge HP fan, but one of my BFF’s Kara (read her blog here) got me hooked. I didn’t read the books because, frankly they are too long and I didn’t want to seem like a weird “adult” reading about a school boy who is a wizard. The movies that seem weird to me, ie The Artist—THIS IS A SILENT FILM, will more than likely sweep the awards. Really, enjoying a silent film is equivalent to saying you like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, only with no peanut butter or jelly. This is not the 1800’s…say something in the movie.

People who haven’t won an Oscar but should have in my opinion:
Leonardo DiCaprio—What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Titanic, and/or Catch Me If You Can--How has he not won? He is really good, and hasn’t made a bad film.
Johnny Depp—Edward Scissorhands--not for Pirates of the Caribbean..He bugs a bit. At the GG awards las weekend, he talked with a hint of a Brittish accent…I guess I am confused, as he is from Kentucky…
Steve Martin—never nominated, Father of the Bride--this is why comedy should get more recognition. FOB is just one of the examples…
Tom Cruise—Jerry Maguire, Top Gun, The Firm--he made me think Mitch McDeere was a real person…

Movies that should have won, but didn’t:
E.T. lost to Ghandi
The Green Mile lost to American Beauty
Erin Brockovich lost to Gladiator
The Blind Side lost to The Hurt Locker

Does my opinion matter? No, but I still give it. If you don't like it, don't read my blog. People who get super offended should refrain, as I am a super sarcastic person. Just keep living..

Happy anniversary to Kara and Scott!

until next time...

the one that's kind of boring

2012-01-23T19:54:00.003-06:00

I have a confession. After dogging those who make storms into something they aren't, I was a little scared last night. I haven't experienced bad weather since I moved to my new digs. In the front room (there are only two) one complete wall is made up of windows. In the back room, there are two windows. There is nowhere safe to go like there was when I lived down on Main Street (in my best Bob Seger voice). I was OK until the tornado siren went off for the second time. I'm glad everything turned out alright, and we weren't hit like they were in Alabama. I really do have a big heart, and I feel sorry for them..

I took a sick day today. I woke up with the worst headache. I can't decide if it's from lack of sleep this past weekend, or its from my giving up my crack--diet coke. It has now been SEVEN whole days since I had one. I think it gets easier every day. Mind you, I still have caffeine every morning in my coffee. I would be bat shit crazy if quit caffeine cold turkey. So I can go ahead a make an adjustment on the 28x28 list...

This post is so boring it's making me doze off.

until next time..

the one with new paintings

2012-01-22T16:28:00.008-06:00

I have never been one to be scared of storms. What is the possibility that a tornado is actually going to come through my front door and take me to Oz? Some people on facebook are flipping out. One who will remain unnamed has posted 8 status updates about the possibility of storms this evening {block}. It's like some people get much pleasure out of spreading bad news. Life is too short to worry if a tornado may or may not brew up. Get under a mattress and deal.

I am obsessed with youtube. That is no secret. I am currently into piano tutorial videos. I bought a keyboard a few months ago, and I am re-teaching myself to play. I long to play like this guy as he is amazing..

I have also been painting away. Here's what I have done

until next time...

the one with friday's four

2012-01-20T15:11:00.001-06:00

ONE—Tomorrow I am helping host a couple’s baby shower. I know. It hurt to type. I can’t believe this is the stage in my life. I am 27 now, and it’s perfectly normal, it just kind of wigs me out a bit. But the par-tay is for two cool parents to be. They are having twins. TWINS. Is it just me, or do twins seem to be a lot more common these days than they were way back in the 1900s? I don’t remember but a few sets of twins during my childhood. Now it seems they are everywhere. Wonder if the same rule applies to the skipping of a generation if the babies had helpfrom in vitro or fertility? A part of me thinks it would be really cool to have a set of twins and get the baby making over with at once. But the other part of me (my sanity) would beg to differ. Double the sleepless nights, double the dirty dipers, then later in life double the sweet sixteens, double the college tuitions…But two of my good friends from high school recently had twins and they seem to manage just fine. I guess you get used to two as you would just one. I would go bonkers.

TWO—You know I always have a funny from my students. I have been called about everything one could possibly imagine, but Mr. Ganard is still my favorite. That sweet girl left to love her other grandmother in Ministippi. I know. I can’t make this stuff up. I miss her. So after Christmas, my seventh gradeclasses change. So this semester, I have the non Pre AP kids. These are the one’s that are my favorites. I guess when I introduce myself to the students, one little one thought I was saying Mister Rod, so for two weeks now she has called me Mr. Rod and finally I heard her clearly enough to correct her, but I guess she has done it long enough now, she stills calls me Mr. Rod. Mr. Gerrard =/= Mr. Rod. I gues she thought the students that call me Mr. G just thought I liked the letter G?? I pick my battles.

THREE—Who tweets? I do, but not frequently. I try to remember, but I just can’t. I like to check twitter because it makes me feel like I know the famous folks. Some of my real friends are habitual tweeters, so I need to catch up. I have added twitter updates to my blog, follow @jakegerrard

FOUR—So I absolutely loathe Bill Maher. 90% of the comments he make are so offensive to Christians and Christianity. He is the most extreme liberalist I have ever seen. He is apatheist, which means he considers the existence of Godas neither meaningful nor relevant to his life. See how far that gets you, buddy. I wish he would see that Tim Tebow is a good person who just wants people to see how a relationship with God can be beneficial in multiple ways. The Tebow bandwagon is a bit much, but I think he is a great person. Although the bizarre stats and statistics are just mind blowing sometimes...

FOUR QUOTES I USE:
“Celebrate we will, for life is short but sweet for certain” –Dave Matthews
“Today you are you, that is truer than true, there is no one alive who is youer than you” –Dr. Seuss
“Life is but a canvas to the imagination”—Henry David Thoreau
“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from lack of imagination”—Oscar Wilde

the one about the idol premier, part ii

2012-01-19T20:06:00.004-06:00

Here we are for day 2. I have never seen so many pit stains in all my life. They must be some nervous kiddos. And Jenny from the Block (or as to be referred from her on out, JFTB) is smoking hot to me. It may be because she is sitting next to the ugliest old woman on the judges panel, Steven Tyler. Here's how I saw it tonight:

-HeeJun "I don't know" Han--I knew it was going to be good. Too bad it's not Koren Idol. I always get so confused when "they" come to America. I guess it's because we outsource so much to Asia..He sounded a lot like Bolton.

-The Manny who has been on stage since age two. Who doesn't love the white guy that sings the theme song to show that made Urkle a household name. He was good. And Quirky. Sometimes, and in this case, quirky is a good thing. The only other theme song that would have topped Family Matters, is the Doug theme song. Kidding...

-The planker's sister. She sang the same song Lauren Alaina sang in her audition last year. Not a good move. She will inevitably be compared to her. That's like trying to sing "Better Man" and not be compared to Eddie Vedder. But she made it. I don't think she will go very far..

-The starving artist who did an original song he made up on the way from Queens to Pittsburg--Damn. He was so good. I agree with JFTB, he reminds me of someone (other than JT) and I just can't put my finger on it. He will join Phillip Phillips in the top 12.

-Evan, I mean Eben--Too young (he is only 15--FOUR when the Kelly won) and matter of fact. He seems like the boy version of Taylor Swift. He is cookie cutter perfect. Gag.

-The beginning of day 2 brought a late JFTB, but my did she look hot in her crop top. Geez. It is sinful..

-Erika the wedding singer/mobile DJ?--Did Carole King proud. She is almost an American Adele. Top 12 contender. Loose the Shirley Temple hair.

-The coal miner seems like such a good person. He chose a bad song for an average singer. I was rooting for him. High def didn't help the brown-recluse-bite-sized pimple on his head.

-The platinum blonde overdoser--good singer. I agree with Steven, I would have like to have heard something less shouty. She will go far.

until next time...

the one about the idol premier

2012-01-19T10:13:00.004-06:00

I think I have a pretty good ear when it comes to picking good singers. Last night’s Idol premier didn’t present much of a challenge with its lackluster auditions. However there were a few contenders that could go somewhere. I always forget the subpar auditions, remember the horrendous, and can’t get that one out of my mind. Here’s the way I saw it:

-The first boy, “Mr. Steal Your Lady”, was just ok to me. He didn’t sound that great, and when he hits puberty, it will present a whole new deck of cards. He made it, but barely.

-Sunday Morning girl—A little better than OK, but she has commercial appeal.

-“dehydrated” Jessica, who will “see them in Texas..” Are you kidding me? Want to know what I think about her? If you will click here and watch a skit from SNL, she sings how I would imagine Kristen Wiig as “Target Lady” would… I bet she says terlet instead of toilet. She is allowed to sing the National Anthem at sporting events? What? It must be at the school of the deaf.

-Too-Tall Baseball daughter was pitchy, but hot, so she made it with her family in the room watching as mom lip-synced the words to her daughter’s Etta James song.

-Tent Girl. This is where I ask myself, in today’s society, why cant you go to Wal-Mart and apply to be a door greeter, or work the graveyard shift at the 7/11. I don’t feel sorry for someone who lives in a tent, and does it for attention. I bet that was staged now that I think about it…She made it, but she bugs, so I’m not a fan***

-Brother/Sister, Skyler and Cole-en according to Jenny from the Block. Most would pronounce it correctly unless you are Tai from Clueless. The age old, “my sister is trying out, so I’m going to pretend I am not, and make America think I didn’t have to go through 18 steps with producers before singing in front of the real judges. They both made it, and sista is pissed her thunder got stolen by Cole-en.

-Lauren with sexy freckles but short teeth and tall gums will go pretty far, I think. She works with special people, so she has a kind heart. She sang Country Strong and did a good job.

-Ashley, joy-hopping mismatched shoes wearing Beatles singer was good but not great. Just sing, there is no need to make us remember you. If you are good we will.

-The NBA cheerleader is skanky hot, but decent voice.

-Finally, Phillip squared. This guy reminds me of a less quirky version of Casey Abrams from last season. I think he may be one of the best, most original voices Idol has seen in a while. Dare I say he reminds me a bit of Dave?? Something is there and he will make the top 12. For sure. Nothing like a version of Thriller that is something that hasn’t been done before…love it.

-The Ryan lookalike seemed like a douche, a lot like Ryan…

Until next time…

***UPDATE: Read about tent girl, here.

the one about the current most overused word

2012-01-18T12:40:00.003-06:00

I bet if Zuckerberg and company over at Facebook headquarters would conduct a survey tallying word counts in status updates, the word "bootcamp" would be undeniably off the charts for Lee County. I haven’t seen a word be so overused since “occupy Wall Street.” I bet the men in these women’s lives wake up and go to bed hearing about “bootcamp.” I do, and I don’t even live with a woman that participates. Mom can’t help but to be excited, and I understand—It’s great. I’m not joaning, I just think it’s amusing when anyone updates a status so frequently and there is such a communal use of a word. But good for ya’ll, as I am proud of anyone who makes an effort to improve his/her well-being—like lots of us have been doing for years, we just don’t status update so frequently about it...

I didn’t take a picture, because I was way too hungry to stage a photo, but I made strata last night. I didn’t mean to, nor did I plan it, but it turned out great. Here’s what happened: I made “tacos” on Tuesday. I actually made lettuce wraps, but that is neither here nor there. So I had about ¾ cup of taco meat that, incidentally, I forgot to take to school for lunch yesterday. So last night, I starred at a dozen eggs that were going to expire on Friday, so I needed to use them. I sautéed a bit of chopped onion, bell pepper, and baby spinach for a bit and added the taco meat. I scrambled 2 eggs and 3 egg whites, mixed with cumin, garlic, and hot sauce, poured that on top of the sautéed goodies and baked for 40 minutes. It was so good, and very healthy. I boiled the other few eggs for breakfast/snack for the rest of the week. I love a boiled egg. It made me think of my Mamall—she used to boil eggs for us every time we visited.

Yesterday I tutored a 3rd grader. I couldn’t have been more excited to open his folder and see what he was learning. I know I am a grammar nerd, but this is what all children should know: the difference between to, too, and two. This should be revisited each year to ensure the proficiency of this commonly blundered group of words. Just like Dr. Gist made us, as seniors, write the word “tomorrow” at the top of every single assignment we turned in for what seems like a whole semester because as a class we misspelled it so frequently. I know how to spell it now, and I also know when to correctly use lie/lay. I think I leaned more with 3 years of Dr. Gist than I did the other 9 years I was at Lee Academy. That lady is genius. I always told her she would be my phone a friend in the event I was ever selected to be a contestant on Millionaire. Hopefully they have learned (of will in the future) the difference between they’re, there, and their. And your and you’re. This makes me think of an episode of Friends—Ross: “It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back! Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means 'you are.' Y-O-U-R means 'your!'”

until next time…

the one about waking up early

2012-01-17T18:11:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I worked out with Ashley. Hard. Today I am dreading the pain that is to come as badly as I dread the weeks upon weeks of bad American Idol auditions we have to endure before the real show starts. Speaking of, that starts tomorrow night. However, there are some auditions that make me really laugh. I like to give my picks on the kids I think will win based on the first auditions I see. Last year I picked Lauren and Scotty to go to the last few. Not win, as I can hardly stand the horribly old-fashioned style that is Scotty. I think the judges should use the format the X Factor uses and choose who goes home, based on the bottom 3 chosen by the voters. Not America. Because there are countless annoying tweens who think people with the vocal styling of someone comparable to Taylor Swift should become successful. Not. I wouldn’t be upset if I never heard her voice again...

Can I brag a sec? First of all, I do have the absolute best parents in the world (to further clarify, you can read the reasons I love my mom). Mom has started a little “boot camp” class in Marianna, and she has impressed me. She started yesterday with about 35 ladies, and today she told me she had 65! That’s excellent. I always say I can’t workout in the AM. As a matter of fact, I just blogged about this yesterday. But I thought, what harm will it do for me to wake up an hour earlier than I normally do? Nothing. So I did. This morning, for the second time in my life, I woke up at 5:45, ran a few miles, did some ab work, and pushups that kill me… I would rather listen to Barack Obama speak nonsense than do pushups.

What the hell is this weather? This morning, I was planning on going for a run, but in the interest of not running in place due to the wind, I went to my parents house—they have a really cool place to workout. I wake up to FM100 every morning, and as I was getting ready I heard Ron Olsen say the current temperature was 67 degrees. Then in the same sentence, He said the high today is 28. I know he meant the low for tonight, but I was so confused (literally, not just figuratively speaking).

Finally, as I was cooking dinner last night, The Bachelor was on in the background. I would rather watch a marathon of Ice Loves CoCo than that codswallop (synonym function). Those who think that crap is real is the group of idiots that should be cast as contestants. Sure it would be fun to go on a date and climb the Golden Gate Bridge or ski down a street in San Fran, but to think there are people that actually get upset when, in 6 weeks, the cover story of US weekly will be BEN AND “WINNER”: OVER. Then they will have to face one another in “the most dramatic season of Bachelor Pad yet”. Give me a break people. Watch something worth your time, like Wheel of Fortune or Chelsea Lately.

until next time…

the random one on a monday off

2012-01-16T16:16:00.002-06:00

1. It's time for me to order new running shoes because I haven't done so in over a year. Do you know where my mind went as I was surfing zappos? Scary that I let it wander sometimes, but this is the crap I come up with. Remember when you used to have to lace your own shoes up when you bought them? Now they come already laced. It seems asics could save lots of money by requiring the consumer to lace their own shoes. Am I right? Since mom is instructing a bootcamp class every morning at 5 am, I feel like it is my duty to keep up with her, and work out fairly hard 5 days a week. Mind you, I am not going to be attending her class for two reasons. One, males aren't allowed. And TWO, even if I could go, the ONLY thing I am doing at 5 am is looking at the backs of my eyelids. The only thing that could get me out of bed that early is if someone in my immediate family was on their deathbed. Notta. So I will do it after school. Although I did wake up once at 5:30 and go for a run, but I was so sleepy by noon, I had to let my students have the afternoon off so Mista G could rest. Other things I remember from my past: Legends of the Hidden Temple--Purple Parrots, what what (now there's Temple Run for the iPad that I strongly suggest), Everyone wanted to have the coolest "YIKES" pencils and erasers, Oregon Trail, and Friends came on NBC, not Nick at Nite.

2. Who watched the Globes last night? I did. Last year I was not a fan of some of Ricky Gervais' jokes. This year they were all quite funny to me. I loved the bit he did regarding the number (or lack there of) of men interested in Jodie Foster. Is she les? Who knows? It makes it more funny if she isn't. Madonna put Ricky in his place. My favorite presenters were Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy. Do you think they came up with that little ditty they sang? It was funny. I was somewhat pleased with the winners. As you all know I am a huge fan of American Horror Story and Jessica Lane won for supporting actress. She deserved it, because she is hauntingly good as the mysterious neighbor. I was equally as excited to see Joey Tribbiani, ahem Matt LeBlanc, win for his work in Episodes. Side note: Did you know the only Golden Globe won during the duration of Friends was in 2003 by Jennifer Aniston. Crazy...

3. I could really get used to a 4 day work week. Being off today has been great. Think of the money the school would save by operating only 4 days a week from 7 to 5;fuel for busses, the cafeteria food, the electricity bill. I need to speak with the US Department of Education on this. I know I would be a much more pleasant teacher..

until next time..

the one about the lingo

2012-01-13T16:36:00.001-06:00

I know I lived in a sheltered bubble as a child, I understand that. Until I took the ACT at Lee Senior High School, I had never stepped foot into a public school. I kind of remember thinking I was on the set of a ghetto Breakfast Club. I loved that movie, and I thought all schools (other than Lee Academy) had more than one hallway and a two story library housing sculptures and,unlike the LA library, more than one computer that may or may not work after the librarian typed in the password for extremely glacial paced, dial-up AOL internet experience. After the home page finally appeared, either the period had ended or your project was past due. So after I realized not all schools were like “the movies” I didn’t have much anticipation for Barton. Good thing. Mind you, it does have more than one hallway and an awesome librarian, it’s still not like the Breakfast Club.

It took a while for me to get acclimated to the lingo around here. It’s really good. Since most of my student’s parents have go phones (and not temporarily like I do if I lose or somehow destroy my regular “contract” phone and have to get a go phone to put my SIM card in until my new one comes in) and when I ask them their number to text them progress of their students, they always have a fascinating response. For example, “I don’t be havin that package..” or “Imma have to wait til Friday to put some mo minutes on my phone.” So the students have picked up on this and now when I say something to them they don’t want to hear, or something that would generate a response equivalent to “yeah right” or “dude, shut the hell up” they say “text me on the house phone.” Meaning I will never convince them of what I trying to say, so they tell me this. I laugh really hard at it and so do my parents.

Another thing—they fight like cats and dogs. And the girls make no bones about it. They will scrap and throw down and not think twice about it. Even if one is pregnant, they do not care. See, when I was in high school I remember ONE single person getting pregnant. Not here. I have one student who has a two year old and she is in the TENTH grade. It happens. And here I am thinking they had to search long and hard to cast the classy broods on Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2. Whatever, they would have cast members for days if they came to BHS. But the tenth grade mother I know is a sweet girl; I just like to think she was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got lost in the moment…

Another common phrase here at BHS is “Imma steal off you..”I heard that probably a dozen times before I cleared up the meaning of that. Since my time here, I know it is nothing for a student to “take something for a minute.” That’s an excuse I heard after I discovered someone stole another student’s iPod. If you remember correctly, I discovered my phone from someone’s underwear after the campus cop all but strip searched all the boys AND girls my classroom. So when I heard “Imma steal off you” I immediately thought I needed to “Hide yo keys, hide you wife..” ha-ha. Not but really I did make sure my iPad was locked up, and my phone and keys were deep in my pockets. It was after and entire year of teaching here, that I learned that means that person is going to hit you. I am not sure if that literally means to steal a punch or what, but just to be safe I still hide my stuff, as I frequently catch white boy syndrome and forget my street slang…

Happy Weekend to all!

Until next time…

the one about being funny

2012-01-12T16:14:00.002-06:00

*Side note: after reading this, I noticed my mentioning Justin Bieber too many times. Forgive me.

What is funny anyway? Humor tends to be one of the most subjective subjects to me. I have a really peculiar sense of humor. Nine times out of ten, I will laugh at someone or something when not many others in the room even laugh a little bit. Some people tend to think the things I laugh at are senseless. You want know what makes me really laugh? That Macy’s commercial with Justin Bieber that makes the grown men scream like little girls. I don’t know what about that makes me laugh, but it does. Every. Single. Time. Also, I do watch SNL every week and I laugh every week. What sends me over the edge is when the cast gets really cracked up at each other and loose it. This happens with Seth Myers every time Stephon makes an appearance on Weekend Update. I think a lot of humor is not understood because people just don’t get it. You have to be well-versed to appreciate a lot of people’s humor or it will go straight over your head. I think a lot of witty people are clever…

So speaking of comical, one of the current laugh factories is Chelsea Handler. I think she may be one of the funniest people I have ever seen. She is just the right balance of crude, wit, and sarcasm. I love a sarcastic person. Probably because I am the biggest wise-ass I know. I also love that Chelsea is not afraid to make fun of herself. Everyone on her round table is awesome as well. Fortune, Heather, Josh, Jiffy, and Arden are a few of my favorites. So last night “Are you there, Chelsea” premiered on NBC. I have read CH’s books, and never stopped laughing. I didn’t know what to expect being in a primetime timeslot on basic cable. Kind of the same was I didn’t know how the MPAA would allow Tucker Max’s “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” to be made into a motion picture without an X rating. By the way, if you haven’t read the book, order it on amazon right now. It is the funniest thing I have ever read in my whole life. It’s super vulgar, but so funny. I knew Chelsea would actually be playing her older sister, not herself. This is where they messed up. Chelsea should be Chelsea, not Sloan (her older sister). I gave it a 6 of 10. I will still watch, but 2 Broke Girls is still on the top of my sitcom list with Two and a Half Men, Modern Family, and Happy Endings.

Funny Story: My students love to tell me I look like either Justin Bieber (when I had long hair) or Spanky from Little Rascals. I don’t think I look like either one, but that is neither her nor there. When the whole doppelganger phase hit facebook, I tried the face recognition software and my closest match was Audrey Hepburn? That was real strange, so I just kept a picture of myself. I never added a picture of a Hollywood actor because personally, I think that is strange to trick yourself into thinking you look famous. It is ok to tell yourself as you look in the mirror each morning, “Yes, I am better looking that Brad, Tom, and George” But one should never broadcast that on the book (along with sonograms, pictures everyday of you or your child’s cute outfit, poor grammar, or your baby mama drama). I certainly was not doing Audrey Hepburn. Since the Bieber comment was made, they have run all the way to the finish line with it. Even to the point of buying a Bieber poster from the book fair and having the Librarian let them in my room and hang the “autographed” poster of the Biebs. I left it up, and it’s still there. SO, when a new crop of students came in this semester they were all super confused by the poster. To add some extra fuel to the fire, as they walked in and noticed the poster, I mumbled (sort of under my breath, but loudly enough for them to understand) Ooh Whooah, Ooh Whooah, Ooohhh Woooaahhhhhhh! Haha. And one little seventh grader excitedly, with perfect timing sang “You know you love me, I know you care…Just shout whenever….” And I almost lost it. That is funny to me and I continue to call that girl the Belieber.

until next time…

the one about extra cash

2012-01-11T17:13:00.001-06:00

Everyone knows money is tight. Always. With most people I know. And if it’s not, they still pretend it is. That bugs a little bit, but I guess they like me to think they are on the same page as me, financially. I am not poor, but I am always interested in saving a few bucks here and there. I could start by not spending unnecessary money on things like GQ magazine, expensive socks, and organic milk. But I like those things, so I will find other areas to cut back. I have been researching how to coupon. I think I have already decided it is more trouble than it’s worth. The shows with lunatics that boast about closets and shelves full of free items stress me out a little bit. Personally I don’t have the time to devote to extreme couponing nor do I have the room to store this stuff. I recently moved from a 3 bedroom/2 bath house with an upstairs and countless closets to a renovated old pool house (that is so cool, and I love) with a bedroom, a bathroom that’s super “cozy”, a kitchen (with only ONE drawer), and a laundry room/storage closet. It’s really all the space I need and it has forced me to reduce the amount of unnecessary belongings I currently/previously possess/ed. These items include, but are not limited to eight white button down shirts, thirty-something pairs of shoes, pens and pencils for days, cases of green beans, rotel, and cream of _____ soups. Because who knows when a craving for cheese dip will come, right? I have donated a lot my excess clothing to LUV in Marianna. There will be some well-dressed people around town thanks to me. But since I can’t (don’t want to) give away food, I guess it will come in handy when I have a party and invite 28 people (see 28x28).

Now since we have established that I am way too unorganized (although I like to think I am super organized) and/or ADD for couponing, I decided last semester I would tutor a couple of days a week for some extra cash. It has worked out and is going pretty good. So I will continue to do that to pay for my break trips with Shea. But today at school we got a memo requesting we do some afterschool tutoring to below basic kids for extra help with their benchmark tests. It’s only 2 days a week for two hours, but get this: it pays $40.00/hour. That’s golden. The way I look at it is this. I get out of school at 3:25 every day when most people don’t get off until 5 or later. So 2 days a week to stay at school for 2 extra hours. SIGN ME UP.

Finally, I have been thinking about the post about church. My smart Mama corrected me when she said that worshiping other gods is not unforgivable. The only unforgivable sin is being a nonbeliever. Because until someone has been properly informed of Christianity and what is wright and wrong, he may think his dog is god (which can be forgiven). So there you have it. That is basically what I meant, but I know it’s not right how I said it...

I completely forgot about my sign-offs in the past few posts, so..

Until next time…

the one about fans and church

2012-01-10T17:19:00.002-06:00

Want to know one thing that really just bugs? A lot of things really bug, but being the time of year and having been through football season recently, this is on my mind. Two things actually—I have a diverse group of students in my classes. There are kids that are fans of teams from USC to Florida to Ohio State and beyond. I am completely fine with rooting for your favorite team. What I am not a fan of is those little rednecks rooting against Arkansas. I understand if Arkansas is not your favorite team, but really? Why try your hardest to make me fail you by saying the hogs “suck?” No no. That will not work with me. For example, I have no idea about anything that goes on at Arkansas State, but I still wanted them to beat Northern Illinois in their bowl match up. So now, this morning after LSU got their asses handed to them by Bama, I asked them if the “honey badger” was their idol? Not so much when they lose, by a long shot…didn’t even get one single point. So there you have it, they are on the tiger bandwagon when they are winning, but not since they lost the national championship. Who “sucks” now you fair weather fan? I am really happy for Alabama. I would have been happy for LSU too, but the Bama victory was nice.

The other thing that really gets under my skin (which will sound like I am contradicting myself) is when someone really, really thinks they are the ultimate Hog fan and they have a zebra license plate bedazzled with red rhinestones that for the outline of a hog. That is embarrassing. The Razorback was not meant to be bejeweled. Sorry. That makes us look bad. I just know deep down who the real razorbacks are, even if you didn’t go to the U of A, and I’ll leave it at that. I wouldn’t want to step on anyone’s toes. Or do I…. Yeah, I do don’t pretend to be someone you are not. If you can’t spell University, or Arkansas for that matter, don’t try to be a representative…we have plenty, thanks.

Also there is an age-old battle between church goers and non church goers. Sunday our sermon was about how we, as Christian church members, should present ourselves among others. Whether it is in church or outside of church, God sees it all. That is so true. You know there are always remarks about doing or saying specific things while one is at church, but honestly, God doesn’t care if you are in the choir or at a brothel, wrong is wrong no matter where you are. This is where the battle comes in. When someone’s reason for not attending church is something along this line: Why would I go to church when you go, and do things you aren’t supposed to do? Last time I checked, I am not God. I do sin. So do you. Everyone does. This would be like someone saying he refuses to go to school because someone failed a class. It’s that irrational. Not everyone, as a matter of fact, not one person is sinless. Not that I promote going out and getting wasted, telling a lie, or having an affair, but sometimes things happen. Last time I checked, that’s the reason God sent his Son to die for me. For MY sins and for YOUR sins. It is hard to make a rational argument with someone whose reason for not going to church is irrational. Perhaps someone could help me with this. Not only is the person who choses not to go to church not furthering his relationship with God, but ultimately is casting judgment upon me for not being a model Christian. Once again, I think I understand this correctly: a sin is a sin and there is nothing that is unforgivable other that worshiping other gods before God. So if you tell me you don’t go to church based on the actions of the members, then you need to dig a little deeper and figure out the real reason you aren’t at church on Sundays because that will not suffice in my eyes..

Now then. I’m off my soap box. This is my first full week back at school and I plan to cook and blog about making a quiche this week. I found a really good recipe for a quiche Lorraine and I am eager to test it. I am curious to see how the New Hampshire primary turns out. I am a fan of Mitt but I like Santorum as well. Santorum seems a bit too stiff in certain areas. But Mitt is Mormon. I don’t necessarily agree with that.

I still haven’t watched The Firm on NBC. I have read the reviews and the critics don’t love it. That’s a bummer because John Grisham is my favorite author, and the book is in my top 3, along with 2 other Grisham novels…

the one with 28 new dishes

2012-01-07T15:25:00.001-06:00

Two days in a row of blogging? Someone has clearly hacked the life of jake. Not really. I am really blogging 2 days in a row. I am a huge fan of DVR and I never watch anything in real time, unless it is one of my favorites that I just can not seem to wait for being able to fast forward through the commercials. That show right now is Revenge. Just as I was thinking the story lines may be approaching tired, shit hits the fan. I watched it this week after a 6 week holiday hiatus and it did not disappoint. I really like all of the characters. I like Decklan and Jack the best, you know the brothers that own the bar? And I can’t wait for Jack to figure out who Amanda Clark really is. It’s all going to happen because in the first episode we learned Daniel was killed on the beach at his engagement party. So much is still to come.

It’s the first week back to school and I have my bi-yearly phonics lesson with myself to pronounce some names. I have a Shaterria (pronounced Shay Tiarra, as in 2 names all in one), MeKyliah (MakAyla), and Antigone(pronounced Antigony). They never cease to amaze me. I have more Destinys and Dynastys than I can count. I would change my name. Oh, and (remember I have 7^th graders) they love to play the game “do you know ____” I want to preface each discussion with, “no, I have no idea who you are even thinking of asking me if I know…” But I let them continue..and one knows someone I know—my old cleaning lady… is her mom. Funny the way it works out sometimes, huh? I was uncomfortable when the discovery was made for a few reasons…

For my list of 28 things to do before I am 28, I will refer to it as 28x28 for this point forward. This is the post where I list the new dishes I want to prepare and write a coordinating blog about the results. For the most part, these are all things that I have never cooked before, or that I have cooked and the results were less than stellar. Here goes:

o homemade chocolate chip cookies

o real italian meatballs

o carrot cake with cream cheese icing

o thanksgiving dressing

o yeast bread

o french onion soup

o chicken parmesan

o shrimp fried rice

o mushroom risotto

o quiche

o french toast

o eggrolls

o hummus

o beer chicken

o margaritas

o crab cakes

o homemade brownies

o chicken pot pie

o broccoli-cheddar soup

o blackened chicken fettuccini alfredo

o fried chicken

o cheesecake

o caesar salad dressing

o potato salad

o eggs benedict

o bbq ribs

o italian cream cake

o beef wellington

the one about 28

2012-01-06T17:19:00.001-06:00

Hey ya’ll. So I know I have said this before, but I have made more than one new years resolution, and I really plan to try to stick with it this time. Let’s discuss one thing. I am only 3 years from 30. I turned 27 about 2 weeks ago and it’s real now. That’s how old my mom was when not only she was married, or when I was 4, but she had a 6 month old child also. I can’t even comprehend… That is neither here nor there, as I am in no hurry to “settle down.” Not that I am an untamed bronco, I just have a few more years to myself before I get serious…

Speaking of not being serious, I happed upon The Bachelor on Monday night. Is this shit real? Whatever. I honestly don’t think the ABC people could make this up. The blogger from New York is my favorite. She is an absolute train wreck. I think she would be really fun to go out with. Not as lovers, as friends. I be she has tons of skeletons in her closet. I honestly laughed out loud. And the girl that wanting the other girl’s digits is a) real ugly b) super strange c)amazing for the ratings. Haha. I am also really into Revenge. It’s my favorite show right now other than American Horror Story. That is crazy good.

Back to my new deal. I have compiled a list of 28 things to do before I am 28. I know this sounds so cliché..it is. But, these are things that I am really going to try to do, not only to say I have done them, but to feel some sort of sense of self-motivation. I need to become more of a motivated person, and have more of a drive to do things I really have always wanted and needed to do/but haven’t the drive to complete, ahem, get started doing. For example, my mom wakes up at 4:00 to work out. Not that I would ever even consider that, but I could very reasonably go for a run or do something before I have to leave for work at 7:15. Easy, right??
So, here’s the deal. Here is my list of 28 things to do before I am 28:

Cook and blog about 28 things I have never cooked before

(the list will be in blog form—to come soon)
eat at 28 new dishes (not the one’s I have cooked above)
write 28 pages about my life
get rid of 28 things I have no use for
make a list of 28 things I am thankful for
learn 28 new words and use them in a sentence
go 28 days without eating meat
watch 28 of the “100 Best Movies of All Time”
host a party and invite 28 people
drink at least 28 ounces of water every day
learn 28 New Bible Verses and share them with someone
save $2800
go 28 days without alcohol
workout for 28 days in a row
read 28 books
take 28 different photographs
swim 28 laps without stopping
achieve a body fat percentage of (half of 28) 14%
go 28 days without caffeine
learn to say hello in 28 languages
make a list of my 28 favorite songs
make a list of my 28 favorite movies
write at least 28 blogs
create 28 pieces of art
go 28 days with no Facebook
send 28 hand-written letters
meet 28 new people
do something I have never done on the 28th of each month

the one with the toast.

2011-06-05T17:27:00.001-05:00

The first time we met was in Pomfret hall in the fall of 2003,

Standing in her towel, thinking I was a stalker she stood there staring at me.

It was only by accident we crossed each other’s path,

As I was looking for Tucker’s notes because I hadn’t been in class.

I knew from the moment I heard her speak with that sweet gracious voice,

Friends we would be from then on out and there was no other choice.

I quickly learned of her aggressive driving skills

especially on the road behind her house with giant rolling hills.

We ate at Olive Garden more times than you can count,

But Slims and Flying Burrito got a pretty good amount.

Then I met Jessica, Jill, and Jana too,

The stories they shared made me really laugh at you.

Our senior year the three J’s moved in together,

The memories we made will no doubt last forever.

I helped her crack eggs and make plenty of grilled cheese,

After I heard her ask so nicely, “I may have you do this please.”

Her strange little quirks are second to none,

Like washing her fingertips, losing her temper, the list goes on..

She is known as Snacky Jackie from her love all things sweet,

But not a sweeter girl will I ever meet.

Craig and Jax your day is here, and I wish you a life full of joy,

You scored it big when you met this girl, and I consider you a lucky boy.

Take good care of Jax, and I wish you a great life together,

So cheers to you both here now and forever!

Love you guys!

the one where jax and craig got married.

2011-06-05T17:04:00.002-05:00

So I have been (and currently am) in Fayetteville since Thursday evening. It has been pretty awesome. I was dreading the long, long ride up here all day on Thursday...but Kara called and I picked her up in Little Rock. That made the trip much better. Thursday night The Julians and I had dinner, and then came home to watch their wedding video. I always tense up real tight when I know I have been recorded, at a receptions, after a night of "fun." My video message to them was actually pretty good. I have decided my facial expressions alone would make people think I am "special." I just need to work on my non-verbal communication. It would certainly make me appear a little more average rather than that of a stroke victim.

Friday morning came way to early. But we pressed on...I took Miss Daisy, I mean Jaclyn, down to Fayetteville for the bridesmaid's luncheon. Since I had two hours to kill, I went straight to Slim's for lunch. This place is my second favorite place for lunch in Fayetteville, and I try to visit on every trip. I drove by my college home only to find we still have all the same neighbors. It was fun to drive through the old neighborhood, and pretend like I did not have to pay bills, or worry about work, and only be concerned with where we would have dinner, and make sure Mom had deposited my weekly allowance..Those were the days.

Rehearsal dinner was awesome. In true Jake fashion, I wrote a toast for Craig and Jax, and it rhymed. A bit cheesy, but I think it was well received. After the dinner, our driver took us to Dickson, along with the bottle of wine from the closed bar (that we all took swigs from like it was Boone's Farm). On the Rocks (that has turned into West End) and Piano Bar were our bars of choice, just like in 2006. In true college fashion, we rolled through Taco Bell to complete our night....

Wedding day was here, and so was the headache. Wow. Nothing a cheeseburger, fries, and a nap couldn't fix. The wedding was awesome as well as the reception. Hot, but awesome. Did I mention it was outside? And Hot, but awesome.

Today we had lunch at my favorite spot in NWA, Flying Burrito. Then, fittingly Brad and Jaclyn and I went to see the Hangover.

Congrats to the Cockrells...

until next time...

the epic weekend

2011-06-04T11:45:00.001-05:00

happy wedding day to Jax and Craig! Hope it's all you dreamed of...Stay tuned for a complete recap of this epic weekend...Oh Dickson, how I have missed you.

untitled

2010-12-18T14:43:00.001-06:00

Hello all. I have been missing in action. Just in the blog universe. I have been keeping myself pretty busy in my everyday life. I’ll try to catch you guys up. For those who did not make the cut for my Christmas card, sorry. I’ll catch you next year. I have about 20 more cards that I could send in addition to the ones I already sent. It gets in to that scenario where if I send them one, I have to send these people one too. I have learned that being back in Marianna, Christmas cards are quite a big deal, and they have become even more popular recently. People really get pissed if they don’t get a card from me but their sister did. I learned that last year with my Nanny. She was real mad. I forgot to send her one and she told me she gives me a card EVERY year and next year I better send her one. Guess who was first on my list this year…

I have a Master’s degree. I kind of feel like a big deal. I am proud of me. I think I am not quite as impressed because out of my Marianna friends, I am certainly not the only one who has achieved such an accomplishment. I have really smart friends. I like to think of myself as equal as far as book smarts and common sense, and I like that balance…Master’s is the new Bachelor’s in my area of work. BUTTTTTT drum roll please…I am not finished with school. Let me just shoot it straight. I can’t live on a teacher’s salary for the rest of my life. BOTTOM LINE. It’s fine for now and the next few years, whenever I decided to “settle down” (whatever that means) and perhaps start a family (God be with us all..) it just won’t do. So, I have decided to pursue another degree—a Master’s in Accountancy. I stated off as an accounting major as a young and dumb 18-year-old freshman and the University of Arkansas, and quickly swayed by my new bff, Jaclyn. She was a Marketing major, so I would be too. The rest is history, we took EVERY SINGLE CLASS together from that point on. She is great, and she has a great job using her degree, but I don’t...

I ran (participated) in the St. Jude half-marathon last weekend. Not only did I get to cross an item off of my bucket list, but also got to experience something that will stay with me forever. As we were running, there were supporters at every mile holding up signs and encouraging words to help us through. Around mile 5, we approached the St. Jude campus and that is when I really got choked up. Some of the more healthy children patients were outside cheering us on with signs that read “You are our heros” and Thanks so Much” even one said “13.1 miles=1500 calories burned, you can eat anything you want today” To see those sweet kids nearly melted me. During the majority of the race I would think how tired I was and how I wanted to just stop running, but to see those kids who would give anything to be able to just get out of their wheelchairs made me realize, I can do this. Also, one of the biggest groups was running in support of their hero, Jake. Not me, but their friend and child who lost his battle to cancer. Every time I would pass a sign, I thought how much St. Jude means to Jake’s family, and I would feel good all over again. Really, it was one of the most rewarding experiences and I can’t wait to do it again next year…

Finally, I am leaving for New York tomorrow at 7 am! This will be my first trip, and I am pretty excited. Shea and I are going together. We have lots of fun things in mind to do, and hopefully we will not freeze.

the one about duct tape

2010-09-28T22:33:00.003-05:00

Some people have gifts and abilities that make them especially unique. I have always wanted to be able to wow a crowd as a rock star, but I simply was not blessed with that ability. I have a few friends who can sing really well, and I love to listen to them. I can remember in college, Kara would come to pick me up, we would go to sonic and order a large order of extreme tots and a big ass dr. pepper and ride around for hours listening to music. I always love when she would pretend to be Christina or Jessica....

What is my point behind this? This is homecoming week at Barton and I love it. I love to be able to dress up in bizarre clothes and it’s completely OK to do so. It gives me a chance to channel my inner bad ass or nerd, whatever. Yesterday was tacky day. Most people consider shorts with boots tacky (unless you are a student at Barton—that’s normal to them--BTW, not only did they wear their north face today, but the camo puffy browning coats made an appearance also. What will happen when it gets below 50, they will wear their ski pants I guess...), plaid on plaid, or a funny hat to be really good attire for this day. I am not most people. I wore a combination of 3 different suits—seersucker pants, wool herringbone vest, and linen blazer with a lime green shirt and a red tie in addition to my lei and striped socks. I also wore electric orange and bright blue shoes—that I do wear on non-tacky day days. In other words, I took it to the next level. I also consider a person “tacky” if they do not participate in tacky day. I have been excited about today since they announced the spirit week dress up days. It is duct tape day. I have been researching for weeks to find just the right creation. I went to Fred’s and bought 3 different colors of tape and spent 30 bucks. This was an opportunity to get in touch with my inner rock star and wow the school. Did I mention how working with duck tape is like trying to nail jelly to a tree. It absolutely blows. After about an hour I decided instead of going for the whole tuxedo, I would just make pants and a shirt. After the front side of the shirt, I decided I would only make a shirt. So after I spent over two hours of my life making this striped V-neck shirt, it was time to try it on. If a video camera would have been around, I would have won a prize—for looking so silly. Duct tape is not forgiving at all. By the time I managed to get one arm in the arm hole I was sweating so badly I was about to faint. So my giant watermelon of a head would not fit through the neck hole. Why was I not surprised since I have to wear my hats on the last hole? So I cut the neck and tried to weasel my way into the other side of the shirt. Notta. the whole thing ripped down the middle and I said every cuss word in the book, including some of my other favorite foul terms, and threw everything away, and today I have a slice of duct tape on my jeans and that is how I dressed up. So today, I am one of those who refused to dress up, and I was not able to "wow the crowd" like I hoped I could…better luck tomorrow when it is jersey day and I wear a Lee Academy jersey to Barton. Haha. I almost thought about making my own translation of Jersey and turning myself into Pauly D or the Situation, but I don’t think that’s the “jersey” they are talking about…

quote of the day that I saw on someone’s FB status:

graduating college in four years is like leaving a party at 10:00.

until next time…

the season premiere

2010-09-27T16:54:00.002-05:00

I have a new philosophy. New season premieres are all the rage on TV this past week, so it only makes since to start a new season here at the life of jake. So here goes, Previously on the life of jake: I have finished classes for my Master’s degree. Currently I am doing an internship, which basically means that I am turning in ridiculously long lesson plans that no one would ever have to time complete in a realistic classroom setting. It’s pretty much a crock, but it’s required, so I do it. I was evaluated last week and I threatened my students by telling them if they acted up, I would get them expelled—don’t test me. They believed me and the evaluation went well. This summer I took 12 hours of classes, which could also be said like this: I went to class and did nothing fun at all, hence the reason I look like I belong to the Cullen family. And you might ask, “did you not have fun at the weddings you attended?” my answer would be this—do you consider getting dressed up in eight layers of clothing in 112 degree Southern heat every weekend fun? This also comes complete with nickel size blisters from dancing as if I am auditioning for the remake of Footloose. I did go to lots of wedding that were really fun but after about 13, it gets tired…

This year I have taken on a new task: after school tutoring. It’s only by the good Lord’s grace that my primary job is not an elementary teacher. There is a special place in Heaven for third grade teachers. I would absolutely pull my hair out, one by one. As a teacher, I am a huge fan of scenario based questions. I don’t care that students know the definition of word wrap or market segmentation; I want to know what they know about it, and how it is used in the real world. That is not how third graders work. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy it…most days.

So let’s talk TV. I am a gleek, I was a gleek from the very first time I heard Rachel and Finn sing Don’t Stop Believing. I was a gleek before it was cool to be one. What can I say, I’m a trend setter. In my marketing class, that is known as an early adopter. You all who are just now becoming fans are known as laggers. (SIDE NOTE: You are the same type of people who are just now getting into the North Face “trend”. North Face has been around for years, but is now emerging as a pop culture phenom. That whole situation bugs, and I am over it. My students are so proud to wear their North Face, starting now and not putting them away until May. They will have sweat pouring off their heads, but they are zipped up tight in their fleece jacket. Dumb.) I am a music and a TV fan, so what show is better for me? Besides American Idol… Which I will not be a big fan of anymore since the new “judges” have signed the dotted line. Other favorites of mine include but are not limited to The Event, Lone Star, My Generation, DWTS, 90210, Modern Family, Cougar Town, and The Big Bang Theory.

This past weekend, I went to Nashville with my friends to celebrate Kelly’s 25^th. We are getting old. Sometimes it scares me to think the “clock is ticking” and I am not getting any younger, but those thoughts quickly race to the back of my head when I am feeding myself a 4^th meal at two a.m. rather than feeding a child. The thought of me having a child kind of makes me have a little bit of a stroke.

Coming up this season on the life of jake: Lady A concert, Ole Miss/Arkansas Game in Fayetteville, Halloween party where my costume is yet to be determined, a possible trip to Vegas, and the season finale: The trip Shea and I are taking to New York.

Ok, so maybe the this idea of the tv show theme was way too cheesy. Sorry

until next time…

the first one this semester

2010-09-12T20:30:00.003-05:00

So I am watching the VMAs on MTV. Chelsea Handler might be the funniest person ever. I don't know what it is about her, well actually I do. She is a smart ass, and well I have been called that a time or two in the past...I am always intrigued with the idea of Lady Gaga. Mind you I could be considered a "little monster" and I think she is pretty awesome, but the things that go through he mind just amaze me. I can't imagine what goes on in her head.

So I guess you noticed I have not blogged in over a month. I honestly forget. It's not that I can't take a few minutes out of my day and write a bit, but I just forget to do it. So to catch you up, I am starting something new this week--tutoring. I am not sure about it right now, but once I start I think it will be fine.

My stolen belongings made the front page of the Courier-Index this week. They finally caught the young gentleman who has been letting himself into my car and take whatever he pleases since he go my spare set of keys the first time he broke in. I have not gone to the MPD to claim my stuff yet, but I just know it's mine. Odds are in my favor since I got about 12 things stolen. So we shall see.

School is good this year. It's quite a bit different than last year in more ways than one. For starters, last year my largest class only had about 18 students. This year, my smallest class has 18 and 3 classes consists of 24 or more students. I have to put my mean face on sometimes, but most of the time they are really good. I took a group of kids to a yearbook workshop last week. When it came time for lunch, I asked where they wanted to eat, and the overwhelming response was Taco Bell. I couldn't tell you the last time I had something other than the "4th meal" at Taco Bell. I really didn't know what to order, because most of the time when I am ordering at Taco Bell, calories are the last thing on my mind--as a matter of fact, one time I wrote a check to TBell with a pencil. So I ended up with 2 chicken soft tacos, and I promise the food is better at 2 am. That's all I am saying. Oh, and I didn't use near as much mild sauce at lunch as I do at "dinner."

Finally, Friday marked the 1 year anniversary of my friend Tyler's death. He was a hero and helped in making our freedom possible. Hope you all think about and remember those who fight for our freedom and pray for the loved ones of those who gave their lives for us. God Bless America.

until next time...

the one about the present

2010-07-30T23:02:00.002-05:00

I have not been the avid blogger I used to be. I guess because some would argue that I have a life now, unlike the stint I had being unemployed for a year living at home, with my parents, and brother. But there are still plenty that think all I do is sleep til 10, watch tivo-ed programs all day, and come up with new ways to make whole wheat, whole grain pasta taste as good as the full carb version. While I do concentrate on these three things, I do do more than just that. Note I said do-d0. Speaking of, I don't know if you all know, but in addition to my first burglary, I subsequently was a victim thrice more. That's right, 4 times. I out-smarted them the last time, and nothing was stolen, as my alarm went off and I called the cops. However, the cops did nothing. Back on track--the last time I was taken advantage of, the ever-so-thoughtful thugs left a present for me on my carport. They took a big fat dookie. That's right, they shat upon my carport. I am not kidding you. I was certain it was a dog, but then I found the brand new, perfect fit V-neck tee from Banana they used to wipe. Really? Really... I would take it to the police station for DNA testing, but I am sure they haven't a clue what DNA is, and certainly do not know how it can be used to solve a mystery. I would say they may have seen it on CSI, but I am sure all they watch is Memphis Beat and the Wendy Williams show...

I have to drive to Conway only ONE more time for class. Then my internship this fall. After that, no more. I am finished. With that degree...I am contemplating what I should do next with my life. While I love being a teacher, I am not sure if I want to further my education with another Master's degree or change fields...hmmm. As cheesy as it sounds, I feel like I am not "making a difference" where I am, and feel like I could elsewhere. I have been researching teaching English abroad and Teach NOLA. Both of which would be really great, but I am here for this school year...

until next time...

the one about the lizard

2010-07-21T21:49:00.002-05:00

I have been here and there this summer. That is one of the perks of being a teacher...Summer's off. I remind myself of that about once a week during the school year. It is hard to remember that around November and especially mid-March until the end of the year. But today was one of the first days I got to just chill. I had nothing to do (productive) all day. I had about 4 things I needed to do, but instead, I went to Wal-Mart. Most people think of this as an arduous task, but I love it. I love going for some reason.

It is time for a phone upgrade, and I can't remember the last time I had a phone for the full length of my contract. I always want the newer, cooler phone. I have had my iPhone for almost 2 years, and another first--I am upgrading to the same-ish phone. I can't remember life before an iPhone. I should be on the apple commercials, since I am all apple all the time...But I didn't get one since they were all sold out today. That is another first. Usually, I would settle for any phone as long as it was new. I think I have kind of grown out of that. Maybe. But after a very successful trip to Wal-Mart I was invited to dinner at the Harden's home. Not that I need an invite, but it is always nice to plan and not just show up and eat whatever they have. Ashley had the tenderloin and I made a stop by the farmer's market where I picked up a huge bag of squash and tomatoes for FOUR dollars. I was amazed. I brought over some non-canned purple hull peas and squash, and a spinach salad. We forgot to grill the squash, but everything else was so delicious. I love a summertime meal.

While the grill was going, I was outside with the kiddos and we rescued a baby bird and then they found a lizard that looked more like an alligator. It was large. I was a bit hesitant when Mille and Jack asked me to catch it for them.. I first thought there was no way I would ever catch it, but after I found a tupperware, I did. They thought his new "home" was too small so they took it inside and tried to transfer it, and guess what? He escaped somewhere in their home. Jay, Ashley, the kids, and I all were looking behind the refrigerator for this giant lizard. No luck. So they have a new houseguest, thanks to yours truly. Ashley couldn't be more thrilled. Jay is scared of it, and I think that is HIlarious.

I told Ashley if we had a reality show, people would think we made this up. But then again if they knew her kids they would know. Amelia talks to her animals and convinces Jack they are talking back...

until next time...

the one about Hannah and Justin's Wedding

2010-07-12T15:38:00.003-05:00

I got a new computer! After a lot of consideration (one day), I decided on a Mac. I am so glad I did. I have never played with something so cool. Once you go Mac, you'll never go back....I am a MacDaddy. Strike that from the record.

I did something this weekend that I do all the time. I went to another wedding. This was not just your typical wedding. This was one of the best weddings I have ever been to in my life. There are only a few of these that come around in a lifetime. I am not going to lie, when I had to regret to Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher's wedding to go to Hannah and Justin's, I was hesitant. I bet Mike and Carrie didn't allow their guests to enjoy the beverage of their choice during the ceremony...guess what, we did...The ceremony was great. Being that it was my first Jewish wedding, I was very enthusiastically awaiting the "Mazel Tov!!" part. When it came time, I yelled it and I think I embarrassed my friends on our row.

Ceremony was over and it was time to make our way to the reception, a room away. I walked in, and immediately knew it was going to be the best reception ever because I saw Kevin and Bethany Paige. Mind you, I pretend to be Kevin sometimes. Every night of my life that involves them is awesome. I knew tonight would be too. I immediately waved at them since we are so tight.

After my quick hello, it was time to visit the bar to decide what would be my drink of the evening. The two that were highest on my list were Dom Perignon or Goose and Tonic. I couldn't decided so I ordered both and had both all night. I seriously felt like I was at Brad and Jen's wedding--I know Carrie and Mike's was not as good as Justin and Hannah's. The food was delicious, my favorite was the Shrimp and Grits Bar. Oh, and for those of us that danced our food off, they served pizza at midnight. All-star idea to give your guests a second helping after the night has kicked in.

Reluctant to leave at 12:30 after making sure Kevin and Bethany were indeed finished, we headed to the Country Club for more. I will not name names, but some of my friends like to be cougars, so after I pulled my 25 year old friend away from a much younger cub, we headed out for our 5th meal of the evening. It was 3 am, so I considered that breakfast. We went to waffle house where we ate again. We finally made it home around 4am where my bed was calling my name as I did not sleep the night before, at all. I had a get together at my house and just forgot to go to sleep.

After waking up on Sunday morning not sure if my awesome weekend was a dream, all I needed was a Sonic cheeseburger. The rest is history..

Congrats to Hannah and Justin, may your lives be filled with happiness and joy! MAZEL TOV!!!!!

until next time...

the one about getting robbed

2010-07-06T15:56:00.003-05:00

Hi. I am back for a new blog. I am bringing blogging back. I have be MIA for the past few months, but I am nearly finished with grad school, so dare I say I have a bit more extra time these days. This morning as I woke up in Pleasantville (Marianna) I felt great. I have been at the lake for the past four nights and I have been longing to sleep in my bed, with no one else around. It was nice. I slept from 10 til 10. I woke up once to a weird noise that I thought was the garbage man picking up the garbage that I forgot to put on the curb for the fourth week in a row. I am really into tuna for lunch these days so you can only imagine what four weeks worth of hot tuna smells like in the dirty south in July. Not too pleasant. I need to not forget next week. But little did I know, it was not the garbage man, it was a thief breaking into my car. Yes that's right. It can happen twice in a lifetime. If your memory serves you correctly, you will remember my whole car got stolen when I was in college. I was robbed again. I went out to my car to find the glove compartment open with everything scattered in my front seat. My center console was open and everything was missing. I was certain I was still asleep, but no it was reality. I did not think anything was stolen since my sunglasses from target we still on my dash, but then I realized they were no dumb criminals, they stole my $200 shades, not the $10 target specials. I didn't notice much else gone until I really thought about it. GPS-gone, radar detector-got, iPod-gone, camera-stolen, and the worst--I had to work on my computer at my parents house since my Internet was down, so it was in my car and they got it too. No amount of insurance can cover what I had on the laptop. I got it my senior year of college, waaaayy back in 2006. You can only imagine what is on that. Plus since then I have started and almost completed my Master's degree. There is a year's worth of information from that...I didn't remember the steps to take when something is stolen being that I thought it would never happen to me again.. What am I thinking, if it weren't for bad luck I would have none at all. So I went to my parents house to see what they said I needed to do, and I proceeded to call the Marianna cops to come to my rescue. They actually got to my house rather quickly and I said "Wow, y'all got here really quickly..." and after I realized my tone was rather smart-assy I said, "and thanks for that BTW." After he asked my rather extensive questions (hence sarcasm) about my items that were stolen, i.e what color they were (that's all), my mom went to the police station to pick up the report. Now it is time for insurance to hopefully kick in and I can get a new computer soon since I have a final and a final project due on Thursday. Neato.

I feel a little violated, but I am glad they did not come into my house because I would have fainted. I guess the criminals thought it might rain on me and they prepared me for that, because when I turned on my car, the wipers were on high....how sweet of them.

until next time...

the one about my mom

2010-05-09T12:54:00.004-05:00

I am always thinking of gifts to give people. Sometimes I think they are better than they do, but that happens. For my Mom's birthday this year I wrote her a little something on the reasons I love her. Her birthday is not until September, but I think mother's day is a better day to share this. I wrote 48 reasons I love my mom, because she will be 48 this year. She means the world to me and these are just a few reasons why:

48 Reasons Why I LOVE Mom…

She doesn’t mind being the bank of mom • She supports me in my decisions I make •She loves Dad—a lot •Matthew and I have put her through a lot, and she still loves us like we have never done anything wrong •at the end of the day she always wants what is best for me• she believes in me •she loved me first •she never tells a lie •she makes the best grilled cheeses •she sent me letters in college, just to make sure I had mail •she loves American Idol [almost] as much as I do •she has such strong faith •she knows me so well • she starts my car on cold mornings •she loves my friends• she will buy me lots of stuff, but we have to bring it inside in shifts so dad won’t question how much we bought •she appreciates EVERYTHING• she likes sweet milk out of the can •she does laundry everyday •she quit smoking because of me• she always asks me how to spell something, and I am no better at it than she is •she is very forgiving• she stills buys my gas sometimes• she always talked Dad into stopping to let us pee on road trips• my friends think she has “nice legs”• if I like her current chap stick, she lets me have it• she whipped us harder than dad• she taught us how important it is to work hard for what you want •she sent me back to college with goodies…every time •she never missed a field trip when I was in elementary school• she says what she thinks• she always answers when I call her, even though I don’t answer every time she calls me •she knows how to text •she can’t remember numbers to save her life •she always ran our bath water and turned on the heater in the bathroom before school• she used to pee her pants when she laughed or got excited—she got that fixed..• she is always on my side when I argue with Dad •she talks in circles and I still understand• she is usually right about everything, even though I think otherwise• she thinks calories don’t count if something is really worth eating• she never remembers which entry of the mall we came in •she always reminds us about everything…about 6 times• She wakes me up 5 minutes before my alarm •she is crying after reading this• she taught me how to make good decisions • her family is her everything• she is my biggest fan, and finally….because she is mom.

Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you.

the one about my students

2010-04-13T18:35:00.002-05:00

I am so ready for Summer break. I am trying to keep my students occupied, at least until mid-May (any time after that there is no hope, which is sad since we will in fact be there until JUNE 3.). Since Spring Break, the kids have been out of control. I made the mistake of letting my 8th grade classes do group work that will take them two weeks. They only know two volume levels, and they don’t use but one very often. Completely mute, which is like little blue birds in a meadow—this is the one that never happens, and full blast. Full blast is usually the volume of choice. I try to let them have fun in their groups, but they act like buck wild broncos that have just been released. It is all I can do not to tell them what I would like to say, but instead, I just stare at them—this scares the bejesus out of some of them, and to the ones that I want it to matter, it doesn’t have any effect what so ever. Lovely. They go into the hall--yes, I still send them out there in hopes the Principal walks by because at Barton, we still believe in corporal punishment. Yes Sir.

In my Yearbook/Desktop Publishing class, it is crunch time. We have to be finished by the end of the year, and I have all Seniors, and they get out two weeks prior to the rest of the school, and that means that unless I want to do the book alone, I have to press to get finished. We have to scan in all of the baby pictures for Ads and Senior compliments. This is a pain, and really makes me appreciate the digital age. I can’t imagine having to do a yearbook back in the 80s. I would have really pulled out my hair.

Also, this week I am administering the Benchmark exams. This is actually not that bad. Each teacher that has the class that is testing that period, administers that class. In other words, I have 8th graders 2nd period, so I administer the test from 9:15-10:15. At 9:15 they get a 15 minute break that allows them to go outside and sit in the sunshine. So Mr. G enjoys this “break” also. And, that is one less lesson plan I have to do for the week. It’s not too shabby for me…

This night brings American Idol, at which I am upset for many reasons, but the main of which is the judges using their save on Michael last week. He makes me cringe and I can’t stand him. I really hope he is eliminated this week, along with either Tim or Katie. But after Idol is Glee, and I have missed it since it went on break back in November. This is the best show to me, and it might top Idol, certainly season 9. I almost like it as much as Friends. I am hardly a “Gleek.”
Ok, yes I am.

I am going back to the old stomping grounds this weekend, and I get to see ALL of my college friends. I am so pumped!

until next time...

the one about things that bug

2010-04-06T18:33:00.002-05:00

This will be a blog that some of yall will get, and some will not understand at all, and some will think it’s real stupid. These thoughts have crossed all of your minds, and I bet you can relate to one or even a few. This is a blog about things I think are stupid. I got an email the other day that really made me laugh, and I agree with a lot of it, so I thought I would share. So here goes, I can’t stand…

Facebook Etiquette-- For the most part, the only people who use the book correctly are the first users (Those of us who started in college, when it was for COLLEGE kids, not Mamaws and first graders.) There is nothing I hate more than nonstop status updates. It’s not cool to let people know your every move (as that is what twitter is for, and yes I tweet). Just because you and your equally lame bff have 18 comments on one status hardly makes you cool. It’s not a competition. I also hate when I am with a group of people and they are like, “I talked to ________ and she said she would be out of town, and can’t make it tonight…” no, you didn’t, you read her status like all of us other stalkers did, and that is all old news to all of us…Lames. I also hate when someone requests my friendship more than once. If I didn’t accept the first time, chances are that I did not magically change my mind and allow for you to stalk on my page only to tell all of your friends what you have seen by way of saying “Well I heard that Jake went to the casino and had dinner and danced…” Shut the front door, I am going to hell… And what the heck is Farmville? I hate that, and someone sending me a “smile” or a teddy bear. This is plenty enough reason for me to delete you. I will do it, and block you. I have a big block list, just BTW. Don’t even get me started on those creeped out 4D ultra sounds. And, even worse than that is when a mother finds it necessary to A) have professional portraits done of their preggo stomach, and B) post them on the book. THAT IS CREEPY. I mentioned this before, but I hate when people TyPe LiKe ThIs. That bugs real bad.

When someone thinks something, but won’t say it. AKA, passive. If you think something, please tell me because Lord knows I am not going to hold anything back. Lots of people say I don’t have a filter, but they are wrong. I have made a few people cry in the past, but since I am more mature (sike) I have tamed my tongue a little bit. I could be really blunt and not hold back anything… So if you have something to say to me about anything, do tell. This is even for small things, for example—restaurants. I hate being with a group, and asking “what sounds good?” and they are like, “oh anything’s fine with me…” but when I mention the first 5 suggestions, they seem to have a small problem with them all… So you lied, and really you want to go to the place you have been thinking about since 3:30 this afternoon, so just say it, because more than like we are going to end up there once you shoot down all the other options, and our stomachs are growling because we have debated for the last 45 minutes only to end up at “your” restaurant. I think this is why I like Simon so much on Idol, because he doesn’t sugar coat anything, he’s a straight shooter. Just a fair warning, all my friends are like this, so enter at your own risk…

I hate LOL. Not much makes me laugh out loud, so more than likely your lame text or facebook post did not make me do so. There is nothing less funny than someone prefacing a story with “OMG, this is so funny” and it’s really not. Same concept. If you have to let me know you think it’s funny, then I am more than likely not. Especially when someone uses it like an email signature at the end of everything, no matter what. “I’ll be there in 10. LOL” or “What’s for dinner? LOL” neither of those are funny, so don’t say LOL. I hate that. I think I might just not like text lingo at all. I hate U and K, what does it take to add an O to K? Nothing, but don’t even send me that. I hate when someone responds with “K..” that is a huge waste of my time.

I hate bad grammar. I can’t spell anything, but I know how to say it. My number one is when someone says something is “broke.” Is it out of money, because if not then it is broken, not broke. And your computer is not “froze up” The worst is when this comes from a teacher. I will not even go there…

I love Lady A, and I am going to see them again on Friday. They are with Tim McGraw at Verizon. Hopefully either Faith will make a surprise appearance on “It’s Your Love” or Hillary will join Tim…either way, Ashley and I will get to the VIP section, like always, because we are kind of a big deal.

until next time...

the one about Idol

2010-03-31T16:25:00.002-05:00

The last remaining of the worst top ten on Idol “performed” last night, only to bore me to absolute tears and nearly causing carpel tunnel from using the fast forward option on my TiVo remote so often. This season is the worst yet; in all of the nine seasons I have never been less interested. There are about 3 that I can really enjoy about 2 that are OK, and about 5 that I absolutely despise. Here’s my rundown…first of all, I miss Paula. She made the show better, I don’t care what anyone says. Kara is narcissistic, and thinks she is music royalty. I know she has written some good songs, and a few #1’s, blah blah, but damn…She tries to be so profound when she critiques the kids that they get confused. That’s why Paula was good, she may have come across as a complete space case, but at least we knew what she meant, sometimes… Randy needs to retire the words “dawg” and “pitchy” It was funny for the first 3 seasons, but now it’s tired. And so what if they are pitchy, say something else. “For me, for you, for this competition, I don’t know dawg…Whatta you think E?” Ellen is funny, sometimes, but has no idea about the music business, and I am sure she is lost as a goose when Kara speaks. Simon is always spot on. I agree with damn near 100% of the things he says. He is impartial, and knows good music when he hears it—which is few and far between this season.

Siobbon. Ok, the girl is real bizarre for starters. She needs to understand that her “demographic” does not run to the television at 7 on Tuesdays to watch, and for her to get some votes, she needs to try a touch harder to be mainstream. I know they all say that is against all the want to do, but they need to get over it if they want to “make it.” The yelled Through The Fire and I think it was horrible. I know the girl has potential, so she falls into the “OK” category.

Casey James, another OK performer. He has all the components of being a good performer except one important factor: connecting with his audience. He easy on the eyes, has a decent voice, and knows who he is, but he just lacks that factor that he needs to “pull the heartstrings” He will make it based on his looks and good voice, but I just can’t imagine him winning us over on The Tonight Show or Ellen during an interview.

The first one I despise, Michael Lynche. I fast forward through him every week. I don’t like him. I just don’t, sorry. I don’t like anything about him. He is Rueben 2.0, and look where he is today…that’s right you have no idea, neither does anyone else. He’s made it, huh?

Didi Benami—don’t like her either. She is not original, and wants to be like Ingrid Michaelson (the girl that sang on the Old Navy commercial a few years ago…) She has very limited vocal ability. She is an unoriginal orginial if that makes since. That sound has become poular via Adele, Duffy, etc…I hope she goes home this week, because I need to give my fast forward button a rest, I’m rubbing the paint off.

Tim Urban has potential but he is too nice. I have been a fan of his since he performed Halleluiah. This is what he needs: to get into a fight with someone to rough up his “happy go lucky” swagger (or lack there of) I agree with what the judges said in the 24 round about him making a good character on Glee. I didn’t like his song choice (Sweet Love), because he was not—for lack of better term, as this is used 143 times each night—current. If I were Tim I would have done something by Chris Brown or Ne-Yo, or even Mariah Carey…

Andrew Garcia can sing one song, and that’s Straight Up, acoustic. He did that and has gone downhill since then. I didn’t even like his performance last night. Sorry, I am not on the AG wagon. He’s a cool dude though..

Katie Stevens makes me want to vomit. She is ever so pageant patty, and not like my cool (former) pageant friends—Kara and Allison. She is one of those that entered a pageant at the end of the year that had no competition, and she lucked out. She sounds like Kermit when she sings, and I agree with Simon; how dare Randy compare her to Xtina? Way off, dawg. She is very robotic, and lame, and has no star power.

Lee Dewyze will, and should, win. His performance was on a different level last night. This performance reminded me a lot of what David Cook might do (and I really liked him). It was smooth in the right places and rough in the right places, and it was an all-star performance. Last night put him on the music map. I can’t say enough good things about him…

Crystal Bowersox will be holding Lee’s hand in the final two as they announce him as the new American Idol. She is real, real good. I like that she played the piano, because that always wins my vote (unless it is the most awkward person ever, Scott McIntyre—the blind boy from last season) I think she is more comfortable on the guitar, so I vote for her to do that instead. But it is nice to know she can play the piano if she wants to. Siobban needs to take lessons from Bowesox on how to be unique, but not so weird that she makes Lady Gaga seem “normal.” I have to say that her performance last week might have cracked the top 10 best performances in AI history. But once again, Me and Bobby McGhee is one of those songs that runs deep with me and my friends, especially Becca.

Aaron Kelly. They saved the best three for the end. If this were any other season, I don’t think he would be one of my top picks, but since the talent is nearly non-existent, I like him. Also, his style, and dare I say swagger has come MILES since he sang The Climb during his audition. Perhaps he and Tim need to get into a fight and toughen up. He should not have chosen Ain’t No Sunshine, because there is no way he could compare to Kris of Christina from season 1 (Yes I remember that, and did not have to look it up because I am an Idol freak).

This is my ranking of the “top” 10:
10. Didi Benami
9. Tim Urban
8. Katie Stevens
7. Andrew Garcia
6. Michael Lynche
5. Siobban Magnus
4. Casey James
3.Aaron Archuletta Kelly
2.Crystal Bowesox
1. Lee Dewyze

the one about Nashville

2010-03-31T16:23:00.001-05:00

Note: I wrote this about two weeks ago, and I am just not posting it...

So it’s been a minute, but I am bringing blogging back. I have been to Nashville since we last spoke. I went to visit one of my best friends in the whole wide world (I always say that like Forrest Gump said it), Jacqueline Barry (soon to be Cockrell). She literally has it made. She lives in a great city, that I will definitely live in someday, and an AWESOME job. She scored us tickets to the Lady A show at the Ryman on Thursday night. I am really into music. I like it a lot, but country music is my favorite. I just love all it has to offer, so I know a little bit about the Grand Ole Opry, and country music history. Hillary, the bombshell lead vocalist, for LA is the daughter of Linda Davis—the one who did the Does He Love You duet with Reba in the early 90’s. She sat about 3 rows down from Jax and me at the show. Also, Charles Kelly’s brother, Josh Kelly, opened for Lady A. He had a hit in 2003ish with Amazing. He is also married to Katherine Heigl, but she was not in the audience. She was probably at home bitching to ABC about her contract. I am so over her. She thinks she is Julia Roberts or Meryl Streep. She needs a reality check. But Josh is really good, and humble, and had a country album coming out soon that I will buy, for sure. Also the opening for the opening act was a new cowboy, Randy Montana—not Hannah’s dad. Kidding. He is really good too. Of course Jax knows him and his family, I find it fascinating, for some reason, that his wife’s name is Montgomery Montana. I think that is just as Southern as it gets. I bet she’s cool. But let me tell you about Lady A. They did all of their good ones. Check. I think Need You Now will be the best song of their career. If it gets better than that, they will outsell the Beetles. I think they are totally awesome, and I’ll give you just three reasons: They covered Tom Petty’s Mary Jane, They wrote and performed Do I (made famous by Luke Bryan) at the show, and did it better than him, and I met Dave Haywood, the oober talented member that plays the piano. He is so cool. We talked for a bit out at a bar in Nashville. Meeting him made me so happy. It was really funny because Jax spotted him in the bar, and tried to get my attention, but I was too obsessed with getting to the front where the band was because they were doing Bon Jovi. Nashville, a bar, Lady A, live music (Bon Jovi), it was just almost too much for me to handle. I could have literally stayed at that bar till Tuesday morning. So Jax gets my attention and we went were on our way to meet Dave. She said “there are 2 things that you can’t do” and I was curious. She said “Number one, don’t tell them that we purposely dressed like they were dressed at the show Thursday night because we want to be them, and number 2: don’t get out your camera for a picture.” I could handle number one, as that made me look like a fool, but I really wanted a picture. But we just shook hands and chatted about CAA (where Jax works) and the show, and their success. I wanted to bring him home to play with us in Marianna because he would really fit in with our crew. That made my night. Then I went back to the bar and had to walk by him again, and he said “Good to meet you.” I almost choked on my beer. We stayed there until the cab picked us up, and we got home at 4. It was a top 10 night. I have now had two of those within 2 weeks time. Perhaps I am partying too hard, and it’s not stopping anytime soon, as I am leaving for Mexico on Saturday morning….We shall see.

Also, while in Nashville I did lots of good eating and even better shopping. They literally have everything to offer. I mean everything. I think I am just so used to Marianna, and the only place to shop is Food Giant. I thought Kansas City was good, but this tops KC and Dallas.

On a final note, I am very blessed. I really am. First of all, I have a great relationship with God; we are tight. I have the best parents ever. For example, last week I came home from school, stressed about work, cleaning and doing laundry to leave town for the weekend (Nashville), and my mom had cleaned my house from top to bottom, and done about 4 loads of laundry. I just love her so much. Then she hired a cleaning lady for me…Also, my dad is always watching out for me. He is so concerned with how I drive. He is always worried because I don’t pay attention. Well guess what? Mom told me he got a ticket yesterday, and not because he was speeding or his tags were expired. You wanna know why? NOT PAYING ATTENTION? How the hell do you get a ticket for that unless it’s in the form of a DUI? I told him he better not ever tell me I don’t pay attention again!!! HA! And lastly, I have the greatest, most caring, understanding and fun friends in the whole wide Forrest Gump world. It is almost not fair how good I have it. Family is everything, but friends are just as much. I have to say that I slept better last night than I have since January 1, all because of a friend. She knows how happy she makes me…and I can’t imagine what it would be like if she wasn’t a part of my life!

the one about tv

2010-03-03T16:20:00.001-06:00

So I am not really sure if the Idol producers are trying to trick us, or if the judges were trying to torture us with their "top" 24 picks, but I am certainly not pleased. This goes to show how good Paula really was. They should have paid her more to stay. Randy loves to hate. "Dude, for me for you, it was not right. It was pitchy all over the place, E what do you think?" Every single time he says that, so if that many contestants are in fact pitchy, weren't they more than likely pitchy in the audition rounds... At least Ellen is funny (sometimes). She just has not really found herself on Idol yet. She will get better, and we all know she loves anyone's style who wears skinny jeans, a cardigan sweater, and a tie--boy or girl. Then there is Kara. She loves to let us know she is the music biz. Give it up, we know you like "artistry." I ALWAYS, ALWAYS agree with Simon. He is spot-on every time. I could not wait to hear what he would say when Tim Urban finished, because I knew he would say it was better than last week, and it was by a mile...I was somewhat impressed. So what if he didn't change the song up and sounded like the original. The original is good, and that's why someone is covering it. Duh. That's another place the judges are kooky. They hate on Todrick (which he totally deserves) for completely changing a song, but then tell people like Tim that his is not original enough... I hate Jermaine, he needs to go. I kind of like John Park. But, I don’t think he will get enough votes to make it to the top 12. I think it will be hard to even pick 6 boys worthy of the top 6, but if I were a judge, this would be my 6 (in no particular order).

1. Casey James--he is talented, and will have no trouble sailing into the top 12.
2. Lee Dewyze--he has a story and a past that allows him to tap into his emotional side and really connect with the song he is singing. I really, really like his voice too.
3. Andrew Garcia--he needs to step up and give us another Straight Up.
4. Mike Lynche--he is a better version of Rueben, but not wonderful. His personality will carry him. He is too big.
5. Alex Lambert--has a great personality that is hiding, and an even better voice.
6. Aaron Kelly--for lack of better talent. Cheese fest, and Mamaw will vote for him.

I can’t believe Jake thinks Vienna is sexy. She is a dog biscuit. Have fun with that…

I really want to be on the Amazing Race. It is not fair that Jeff and Jordan have now been on my two favorite shows. I think I might be a better Big Brother contestant, but I really want to be on AR with Ashley. She thinks we don’t have a good enough story, but I told her I was sure I could come up with something to get us noticed…

Here are my Oscar predictions: Sandra Bullock will win, and that’s all I care to see.

So after my weekend of wildness, I am like a zombie. I am ready for this weekend to get here so I can rest. I am not doing anything but vegging. ..

until next time...

the one about gin show ii

2010-03-02T18:59:00.002-06:00

After a night of partying like I was Mick Jagger, I did not wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. I knew I would catch nine kinds of hell if I did what I initially wanted to do--take myself to Marianna and recuperate. I was hoping in the back of my mind that the night before was a dream. My credit card receipts proved that my night was in fact reality. That was neither here nor there, I had a blast, so it was worth it. I started getting phone calls around 10 a.m., and I did not get up until 12 noon. The thought of food automatically made me think of the whole “warm mayonnaise” situation from the night before. Not good. I asked Kelly for a slice of bread, and all she had to offer was a hot-dog bun. But then the most magical words came out of her mouth—“we have one diet coke left.” I felt like I won the Arkansas lottery. That is just what I needed to feel better. Then food entered my mind, and I wanted something fried and greasy. After lunch, I showered, and did what everyone does after some greasy lunch and a night of mistake #1 from the night before..After I did that, it was game time. I was a new man, and ready to do it again. I walked up to a table full of Marianna, and they all told me I looked “sunken in” and like a “cancer patient.” Aren’t they sweet? That is where the waitress told me of my false accusation from the night before, and I thought Mendy was going to pee her pants. I was mortified, but it didn’t stop me. I repeatedly apologized to the waitress, and now we are tight. Dinner, a real one, was good. Then the Peabody again. This is where we stayed for entirely too long, but I did see Sookie’s dobbledanger and the real Charles Barkley. After Ashley forced Jay to stop all of his politicking, we finally got to go back to Alfred’s. I asked the bar tender if anyone turned in my glasses and he laughed. So did Bethany when I asked her. Friday night, Ashley was not there, so all she knew about KPB was what I told her. She did not realize that we would end up calling each other Kevin and Bethany. They are the best band I have ever heard. Ever, hands down. I asked them why they were not famous and Kelly said, “They are. You know there name, but they don’t know yours…” Touché. Remember Ashley and I are proving to them that they should let us on stage, but I think that’s against the rules, even rules that Ashley and I can’t break, because you know most rules are written for all except Ashley and me. Songs such as Pour Some Sugar On Me and Sweet Child O’Mine get us really, really excited. But nothing compared to Bohemian Rhapsody, (that was preluded by a shout out to me from Bethany and Kevin) and Empire State of Mind. I think I enjoyed it better than when Jay-Z and Alicia do it. It was that good. Since I was so enthralled by pretending to be Jay-Z/Kevin Paige/Axyl Rose I did not realize that Kelly went home. I was so relieved to check my phone and find a text from her that said she would come pick me up. At 3:15 she found me on the corner or Union and Second, where I had walked to from Alfreds, about 6 blocks. To Taco Bell we went, and ordered one of everything, went home ate, bed by 4, and the rest is history…it was one of the best weekends of my life, and we relived it at lunch on Sunday, at Huey’s, where I ate my chicken sandwich, with NO mayonnaise…

until next gin show…

the one about gin show

2010-03-01T17:46:00.000-06:00

You know the episode of Friends where Rachel decided that the decisions she makes are not usually good ones, and asks Monica to make all of her decision for her, perhaps I should consider that…

“To err is human…”—the understatement of the weekend. I made lots of errors that seem funny to my friends, although not so much for me. Friday afternoon I was so ready. I knew the Gin Show was in town, and that meant one thing. Well it means only one thing to me. And I will give you a hint—I am not interested in the newest cotton pickers... To me, gin show means that Marianna literally packs up and moves to Memphis, Beale in particular. Almost everyone I could imagine was there… I started my night at the Peabody—a place that is a favorite, where Southern tradition runs so deeply. Usually the Peabody is crowded with Armani suits and Gucci loafers, but this weekend’s crowd would not have even known what either of those were. Instead, there were more work boots and Levi’s than that place has ever seen at one time. But, that just means everyone is real, and there to have the best time of their lives. The crowd was so thick that it was almost inevitable that double-fisting would be required. Unless waiting at the bar all night is something of interest (and to some, scouting a mate is crucial, and the ladies were in droves—they know about those farmers), you ordered either a double, or double-fisted. Mistake #1 (of about 10 [that I remember] that night). Some of us stayed, and some went to dinner. Mistake #2—Don’t do doubles without dinner. Around nine o’clock a few of us decided that dinner needed to be had. There was only one rule, we could lose what we had going so I insisted we order appetizers, and no more than 2. That was mistake number 3. After leaving “dinner” we decided that Beale was calling our name. To Silky’s it was. Apparently, this is where I made a rather comical mistake by accusing my waitress of putting something (other than the 2 things I ordered, a rufie in particular) in my drink. The best part of this mistake is that she informed me of my absurd accusation the next day. When someone (a waitress) approaches you and says, in a very you-should-be-embarrassed kind of way, “Oh, I remember you from last night…” is when you want to go crawl back in bed—that it took every effort of your being to pull yourself out of to go make more mistakes for day 2. I am a champ. After leaving Silky’s the night turns into one of those that you know you should be walking home, or towards a cab, but instead, you think what can one more bar do that’s not already been done. Mistake #4—Alfreds. This is the best place on earth at 1 a.m. I will just go ahead and tell you, I turn into Kevin Paige when I go in there. I don’t care if the dance floor was full of nuns named Mary Frances; I would still be at the stage singing so loud they can hear me in Germantown. They rock my world, literally. I guess I was dancing in a way that caused my sunglasses to get in my way, so I needed to remove them from around my neck, on a croakie. If you assume I was too pumped up from having rocked the bar I forgot to get them before I left, you would be absolutely correct, so now I don’t have shades. Mistake #5. When Kelly decided we needed to “GUHOME,” I decided I was way to hungry to not eat something before bed—refer to mistake #2. That is when we happened upon Huey’s. Always a mistake, but for now we’ll just say it’s #6. I never like mayonnaise, ever, but at 2 a.m. after a LONG night of mistakes like #1, it’s the most repulsive, vile thing in the world to me—especially when it’s on a warm bun. I’m literally gagging right now thinking of it. So I ordered my burger with “yellow cheese and meat, no mayo or I will _________” I am not quite sure what I said here, but it must have been threatening, because when the waiter brought our food, he said here is your plain cheeseburger, without ANY mayonnaise. I needed to go to the bathroom. Walking in a bathroom, at 2 a.m., after mistake #1 and intoxicated farmers are in town is mistake #7, I won’t say anything else…Upon returning to the table, I could not eat my plain cheeseburger, so we doggie bagged it, and went home. I am not sure how Matthew ended up with us, but he made the other half of Kelly’s “Gerrard Sandwich” back at her place. One of the many times I was up throughout the night, I noticed it was just Matthew and me in the bed, and Kelly was on the sofa in her own apartment. I bet she thought that was real neat. I didn’t peel myself out of the bed/off of the floor until noon, and by this time it was time to eat lunch, check my credit card receipts from the night before, and do it all over again for round two. Mistakes #8, #9, and #10.

to be continued…

the random one..

2010-02-23T15:59:00.000-06:00

Long time, no blog…I know. I am not going to say I have been too busy, because that is not necessarily the case. I have just not really been in a quirky, writing mood. I have been filling my time doing other things. I have tried out a few new recipes. I made red beans and rice for the super bowl party. They were delish. I had to ask the meat man at Edward’s what ham hock was. My recipe called for a ham hock, and I had no idea what that was. I learned, and even mustered up the courage to Google it, only to find out I wish I had never done so…

This weekend I also made my homemade pizza. It is really good, and I usually win the pizza cook offs when I enter with Bill and Marilyn. It is almost too unhealthy for words, but it is worth every calorie. Here it is:

olive oil
chicken stock
pt. heavy cream
Boneless/Skinless Chicken breast tenderloins seasoned with salt and pepper
red onion
mushrooms
baby spinach
garlic
black olives
artichokes
1 cup mozzeralla cheese
1 ½ cups parmesean cheese
3 tbs. butter—divided
feta cheese crumbled
pizza crust

Cook the chicken in a skillet that is not non-stick. (the more chicken that sticks to the pan the better the sauce is) remove the chicken and cube. Deglaze the pan with about a 1/3 cup of chicken stock. Add the heavy cream and 2 tbs. butter and parmesan cheese, mix until melted, let stand. In another pan, add 1 tbs. butter and cook the onions and mushrooms until they render their liquids. Add spinach and garlic until spinach is wilted.
Drizzle the pizza crust with olive oil, and spread the white sauce liberally. Add chicken, then the onion/mush/spinach mixture. Top with black olive and artichokes, and cover with mozzarella cheese and sprinkle feta on top. Cook about 20 minutes..YUM-O.

I made my goal of no alcohol in January. It was surprisingly not that challenging. I really enjoyed being clear headed, and watching my group of friends do what their thing. It made for an interesting month.

I have done a few paintings recently. I am very into painting cotton. I did one for the Whiteheads, and I did one for what was supposed to make a home in Felton, but I decided I like it too much to sell. I did one that I almost kept for Lee Academy family night out. I am working on some right now, for myself, that, if executed properly, will turn out very cool. I have a low entertainment unit upon which my tv sits. It is only about 4 feet tall, to the top of the tv. So, I have lots of wall space above the tv. I decided to paint 4, 18x18, Mexican tiles to span the length of the wall above. I am trying to find some cool tiles to use as my inspiration.

American Idol top 24 starts up tonight, and I will have my recap to share on Thursday after I have seen all 12 boys and girls. I already have a few favorites, and I am sure Casey James will be in the top 6. He is the bluesy blond boy from Texas. I also think Andrew Garcia (the boy that did the acoustic version of Straight Up is really good too.) After they all have a fair chance to prove themselves is when I will cast judgment…

the one about the bachelor

2010-01-12T16:46:00.000-06:00

So I was suckered into watching the Bachelor last night. I couldn’t help but notice the thousands of advertisements for it, even while fast-forwarding through the commercials of my other ABC shows. Yes, I watch Brothers and Sisters and I really like it. I, however, do not watch Housewives. Back to Bachelor. I did notice quite a few funnies. I am not good with the names, but I will try. On the first date, the one with the photo shoot, I would have given the rose to Christy or Crystal (the one that was so nervous). She was on the set with 2 other models, and a Miss America contestant. She made me laugh so hard when she said she would rather be “taking a math test than doing the photo shoot.” She also said her hands were dripping with sweat due to her nerves. I can totally relate. Every Sunday, when we end our service at church, we gather hands and sing a song. My hands are always so clammy…good thing I don’t sit beside a hot chick. Jake (ironically enough) did not give her a rose, and mentioned that he thought she had too much to drink. I would have been pounding shots too if I were in her shoes…Maybe she will read this and give me a call…

Ali (I think is her name; in the yellow dress) needs to tell all of the other girls to pack up and go home, because she is the winner. I think she might have been a touch overdressed. She is great and seems to be lots of fun…

Too bad Rozzy boinked one of the staffers, because both Jakes thought she was bangin’. Did you see Jake’s face when Chris told him? He was pissed…I think he thought she was out of his league anyway…

Elizabeth—the nanny. I hope she tells her children not to be alarmed, when they grow up, normal boobs don’t look like hers…If they were spread out any more, she would have to put deodorant on them as they would be under her pits.

I feel really sorry for Vienna Sausage. She is just as unfortunate as they come. What is with her eyes? Jake can’t think that’s hot.

What’s with the strange gal who packed her bags? She must be there for the ratings…

I liked both of the girls he got rid of. The teachers and the Math test girl..

That is probably my last episode to watch, but I might have to watch again to see Ali.

Also, did anyone notice how Jake cheeses after he kisses someone? It’s so awkward to me. Hopefully all of the girls open their eyes after he does it. The poor guy has about as much game as a fat girl at prom…

until the AMERICAN IDOL recap...

the one about the snow day

2010-01-04T17:57:00.002-06:00

I am annoyed... I am happy, but annoyed. Today was the first day back to school from Christmas break. I was excited to wake up this morning, a touch earlier than what is my normal routine, and make egg whites (to start the new diet) and have coffee...You know, the types of days that you are excited about and they only happen that one time...Well this time I am seriously doing it...But anyway, I got in the shower around 6:30, took my time, since I had enough to spare. Usually I wake up running. Just enough time to shower, brush my teeth, and literally run out the door. After I got dressed, in my clothes that are way more snug than they should be, I went out to start my car. Much to my surprise, there was snow on the ground--a light dusting. By This time it was 6:50. I leave my house everyday at 7:05ish. As I was walking back out the door, I noticed a voicemail from an unknown number. It was the school, telling me we were closed today. I was so pissed. A) because we have to make these days up, they are not built in to the schedule, and B) I soooo could have stayed in bed. So I went over to Mom and Dad's to have some coffee, and teach my dad how make a capital letter in a text message. He is getting the hang of it--2 years later...

I came home got back in bed. When i woke up, a few hours later, there was no snow in sight. I could have easily made it to school this morning, and everyone else will be wishing they would have not cancelled when we are still in school come July...But since I had no school, I could start my diet off right. I napped through lunch, so that helped. For dinner I have weight watchers Taco Soup cooking. It is really good, and only 3 points per serving. I plan to do the elliptical at my parent's house this evening. I can't even manage to workout during the day when I am off work. I always like to do it in the evening. I think because my workout kicks started while in college, and the HPER was open forever late, so we always worked out then...

until next time...

the one about Crested Butte

2010-01-03T12:48:00.004-06:00

Who can really believe it is 2010?!? I can't. This means a new decade, and most shockingly that the 90's were TEN years ago. That is just completely bazaar to me. Another shocker: 2010 marks the beginning of the FOURTH decade in which I have been a part of....WILD.

This is the first morning since Christmas that I have woken up in my own bed. I have been to Crested Butte, Colorado this past week. It was truly one of the best trips I have ever been on. The company was the best. I truly have the best friends in the whole wide world. Everything from the [16 HOUR] ride there with Kara and Jaclyn, to the home-cooked meals we made together, to skiing out of control, to the whole afternoon in a "coffeehouse." It was really great. This trip made me see and understand that life is short, and I shouldn't sweat the small things. I should appreciate everything that comes my way, and continue to be thankful for what I have. I mentioned the first day of catastrophes in an earlier blog... After that some things got better (the group's ability on the blues..), and some got worse... (Jaclyn got clobbered by a tot, and took quite a hard fall. She was done done for the day, and I don't blame her. Did I mention she fell getting off the lift, too?--ouch.) This was the day that Kara and I cooked for the group. We had Chicken Spaghetti, Green Bean Bundles, and Rolls. We decided we wanted our night to be about comfort food. We ate an ENTIRE 11x14 casserole dish that night. I did eat three helpings...

Kara and Me on day two...

The next day we decided to skip out on the slopes and go downtown. When I say downtown, that is really what it is. If you can imagine a place that looks like the set of a romantic comedy in Colorado, this is what it is. All of the shops are just so "charming and beautiful" as Kara put it. Even the dentist office is charming. We shopped like tourist, and bought lots of souvenirs.. Funny story about the souvenirs: We were in this Christmas shop looking for an ornament for me. I was looking around, and all the ornaments I could find did not have Crested Butte printed on them. I can get a Christopher Radko at Macy's. I wanted a real Crested Butte ornament. As I was looking at a very limited selection of these types of ornaments, I asked the "help" if these were the only ornaments she had that say Crested Butte. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "You are touching one ornament, and saying are THESE all you have...,",pointing to two different ones, she said, "this one says it and so does this one.." in a VERY just bitchy tone. I said "Thanks, that all...." and walked out. I can't stand when someone is rude like that... I found my "charming and beautiful" ornament elsewhere, along with a magnet and two t-shirts.

Downtown Crested Butte

Our Afternoon at PWB

After our shopping was done we decided we needed coffee. We went to the Princess Wine Bar and (I thought) coffee house. My first drink was coffee, but let's just say it wasn't black :). We met the bar tender who was very interesting. Me being, well me, I needed to know his story. He had an accent, but he wasn't talking enough for me to pinpoint where he called home. Get this. He is from Australia originally, he summers in the Greek Isles, winters in Crested Butte, and spend the majority of the spring in Canada. AND he is only 25. We decided he was definitely a trust fund baby, as his bar tending salary would not provided for that lavish of a lifestyle.

POKA PLAAAYAS.

New Year's Eve was spent at the wine bar from the previous day, and dinner was at Marchetelli's Gourmet Noodle. We met some people on the slopes from Fayetteville, and they compared this place to Bordinos. It was not that yummy, but it was good, and we had a really good time. After dinner, we brought in the New Year at the cabin, and all went to bed, as we had another 16 hour drive the next day starting at 8 am. We made it home safely at 1 in the morning. The drive was long, but one I will never forget...Thanks to Jax for allowing us to stay and I look forward to doing it again! Hope you all have a Happy 2010!

Always remember, To err is human; to forgive, divine.-- Alexander Pope

until next time...

the one about the first day...

2009-12-27T23:09:00.006-06:00

So I made it. 16 1/2 hours of non-stop driving. I have a few funnines from the trip here. We started all white-eyed and bushy tailed. Until about Alma (40 minutes from Faytteville). Jaclyn went down. She stayed asleep until about Oklahoma City. During that time Kara and I talked about everything and everyone. We talked about Jaclyn's wedding and that is where the first Kara-ism happened. She said she was looking at the pictures of Braclyn's wedding and when Jaclyn was tossing the bouquet she looked like she was tossing a "cylinder" block. I said, "excuse me, what did you just call it, do you mean 'cinder' block?" We got a good laugh from that...

I started this blog last night, but my eye balls were burning so badly from no sleep I had to stop and start today. Was it an eventful day you ask? OMG. This is the view that I woke up to:

So today Kara, Jaclyn, and I decided we would get right on it. We wanted to ski right away. We went to the ski rental store to pick up our skis and other gear. Jaclyn could not decide if her boots were the right size, she went back and forth between a 7 and an 8 and just finally decided on the 8 after I told her they were ski boots, not Louboutins... The others went to the store for groceries and we were off to the slopes...We did the first few runs on the green paths. We (Kara and I) thought we were rock stars, and after we had some cocoa on the mountain, we would try a more advanced run, and Jaclyn was to come along with us. We looked the map over, and decided we wanted to try "Yellow Brick Road." To get there, we had to take the "Twister" lift. It was not a first class lift. It was a two-seater, so I decided to go alone and first, before the girls. I swear it was like a roller coaster with NO safety rail. I sped into the dock and I had to jump. It swept me up so quickly I lost a pole. I wanted to jump off right then and get it, but they told me they would send it up...Then when it was time to get off the lift, Jaclyn decided she would stall for about 3 seconds and then jump off the seat. She seriously looked like Tony Hawk and got some "gnarly air." She landed tight on her ass. I laughed so hard, only after I saw her laughing. Then on to that blue slope we had to take on to get to the Yellow Brick Road. Instead of the blue slope, we somehow ended up on the "Joker" (a double black diamond). I was the rave sole who attempted it first. After the first 3 seconds, I busted face and lost a ski that went about 100 yards down the mountain. The girls thought it was so very funny. Then we were advised to take our skis off, and slide on out butts down "Joker" I started sliding and soon there after was completely out of control. I was on my back, HEAD FIRST, traveling about 50 miles per hour, with no stopping anticipated anytime soon. I was scared to death, and assumed this would be the day I died. Snow was building up in my pants, coat, and my face was a solid sheet of ice. The only thing I could think was "I am going to be the next Sunny Bono.." I made it to a stopping point, and right then I prayed that if God would let me get off that run, I would not leave the green slopes ever again....About 5 minutes passed, and I saw Kara and Jaclyn sliding the same way, completely out of control...After it was over, we could not even focus for laughing...

the one about the grill

2009-12-25T23:46:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I am so blessed to have had such a great day with the ones I love. I was very happy with what Santa brought me. I asked for a grill, and I got a good one! See, luckily my Santa really does his research when it come to buying something new. I would have been completely satisfied with the cheap-ola model that I picked, but Dad, I mean Santa, bought me the Range Rover of the grill world. I don't even know all of the specs, but I know it is a Weber, and it came in like a zillion pieces, and I assume Santa's elves were too busy to assemble it, so guess who got to do that? Yours Truly. It took about 3 hours. Mother got Yurman, Dad got a new cool watch, and Matthew got a new deer stand, like every year. I can't understand how one person can use that many deer stands. I swear I am going hunting to see what the hype is all about, if nothing else I know it will make for a good blog...

Today I have really had some people on my mind, especially Tyler's family. I just can't imagine how tough it must be for them all. This morning was the first time EVER that I was not at home (1 Chapelwood will ALWAYS be home) on Christmas. Mother said it was not the same, and that is when we really thought (on a much, much smaller scale) how it must be for his family. We really should cherish every moment, for tomorrow is not promised. Tyler will be forever missed by everyone, but I am sure by no two as much as his parents...rip, buddy.

Merry Christmas,

until next time...

the one marking my 25th year

2009-12-24T22:34:00.002-06:00

Today marks the beginning of my 25th year on Earth...That's right, today I am the big 2-5. I am torn as to what I think about 25. Is is still young, is it a "real adult?" I know in the grand scheme it is still young, but I am halfway to 50. I have seen quite a bit in my 25 years on Earth...I always get asked if I am cheated out of presents because my birthday is the day before Christmas. Nope, my good friends and family make it a point to make the dates separate. Actually, I really enjoy my birthday being so close to Christmas. Take today for example. I went to church tonight, as I do every Christmas Eve, and I got so many birthday wishes. Also tonight I went to my Aunt Carol and Uncle Bill's house for Gerrard Christmas, like I do every year, and I was with EVERY Gerrard that exists on my Birthday. There are 18 Gerrards total, and i got to spend my birthday with them all...That is special. Another perk of a Christmas Eve birthday, is that i will never have to work on my Birthday. Most businesses, especially schools, are closed on December 24th. I have had a great 25th Birthday, and look forward to many more with my great friends and family..

I leave for Colorado in 2 days!! I am so pumped. Although the weather has been a bia, I think we are going to be OK to get there. I will still buy a plane ticket. I am going rain or shine, snow or sleet.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, everyone. Peace on Earth...

until next time...

the third one in a row

2009-12-23T12:55:00.002-06:00

Who is this crazy person who has taken over the life of jake? I can not remember the last time that I blogged three days in a row, but I have done some blogworthy things lately since I have not had to go to work. I did something today that I have not done since (probably this Summer, but most would say college, so I will too) college. I slept until noon. I did not even mean to. I woke up early, because Papaw can't make it all the way until 7 am without having to go pee. Nothing makes me more mad than having to wake up to pee, it really makes me consider either a plastic mattress or some old people underwear...But I laid down watching a movie, and fell asleep, next thing I know, it's noon.

Also last night I decided to dust off the old chef's hat a make a meal. I made a delicious pork tenderloin, roasted parm-encrusted asparagus, and baked sweet potatoes. The tenderloin was so good. Most of the time, adults would pair this with a nice wine, but in Marianna, when you ask for the most expensive brand, you get Yellowtail. So I decided to do what my Mom did with every meal we had at home, make sweet tea. I have not made tea since I have lived alone, and last night I remembered why after it was made. My refrigerator is not near a water line in my kitchen, so the ice maker does not work. Now, mid you if this was 1954 and I was used to having to use homemade ice it would not have been a problem. But, I never use ice therefore I never make ice...So instead, I had a lukewarm bottle of water and waited on my tea to chill in the freezer.

No running today since it is raining. My diet/exercise regiment is not going so swell. I have not eaten that much, but I have only been running once this week. Last night I watched the Biggest Loser where are they now and it inspired me more. Those people are pretty amazing, but one guy lost 214 pounds and gained it ALL back. Sounds like me, and my Junior year all over again. Seriously, when I was really in shape after losing about 25 pounds, my starting weight then and now are too close for comfort. I must get it together. I will, after New Years...

Leaving for Colorado in Sunday...let's all hope I come home in one piece, since I am prone to clumsiness. Quick funny: The first time we snow skiing, in the 9th or 10th grade, my dear friend Shea took quite a tumble and rolled about 3/4 of the way down the mountain like a cartoon character, and she chipped her tooth. It was hi-larious to us, not so much to her...

until next time...

the one about how i fill my time

2009-12-22T10:22:00.003-06:00

Day 2, blog 2. I am on a roll. Who says, better yet-who doesn't say, after the Holidays , it is time for serious diet. I know that I do. One year, i stuck to it until Spring Break and I lost about 20 pounds. Well over three years that 20 pounds must have won the scavenger hunt because they have certainly found me. I decided back a few months ago if I bought a scale then I would hold myself more accountable. WRONG. It has kind of been funny the past few days, well sickening really. I have been to so many Christmas parties, and consumed nothing with less than 100 calories [a bite-or drink]. So the past few nights I have kept my coat and shoes and everything else on, and go to the scales just to see how much I actually weigh. It pretty wild. I decided instead of blowing up like Flounder until the first of the year, I will ease into a "new lifestyle" as of yesterday. I did pretty good, and I ran 2 miles, but I know that Christmas is soon, but I am making myself a promise that I will not be a complete glutton, as that is a sin. No one wants to sin on Christmas, right? That is one way to look at it.

I have done a few new paintings lately. Since I finished up the semester of grad school, I have had some extra time to do something I enjoy... The first two were done for the Whiteheads and the last one for the Feltons. I really love the orange painting with the tree. It looks great at its new home in Oak Forrest..

the one about the future

2009-12-21T19:51:00.002-06:00

Alright. I know I have been slacking, but that is coming to an end. I have not blogged recently due to many reasons. I have made out finals, graded finals, taken finals myself, painted, and Christmas shopped. I did all that in about 3 weeks. I was quite a busy person, but I am back. The most recent controversy I have sparked in my life is with my Christmas card. I sent out about 30 cards, and I clearly forgot that I lived in a very small community and everyone sees everyone else's Christmas cards that they so proudly have on display. I was not even going to send one, but I came to the conclusion that would be rather Scrooge-like of me. I had big plans back in November to make some really cool, homemade cards. Of course I did not get around to it. I sent them out about a week ago. You should not take it personally if you were accidentally left off of my list, my parents got one that did not even get signed. I bought cards, but spiced them up with a witty insert completed with a school picture of yours truly. This is how it read:

I started this year without a job,
But got one soon after, as you read on my blog.

2008 was rough, none the less,
But in 2009 I got my own address!

I thought I would be a starving artist forever,
But to be a teacher, I thought I would never.

Now I get paid to educate the youth,
And I really love it to tell you the truth.

I know without a photo, cards get quickly disposed,
So included is my school photo for which I am posed.

I hope 2009 has blessed you as it has me,
with great friends, family and (almost) a Master's degree!

For 2010 I hope for happiness and cheer,
Merry CHRISTmas to you all, and Happy New Year!!

I enjoyed writing it so much, and it made me really miss blogging. I have slacked, but like I said, I write alot more now. I promise.

I have a milestone birthday this week. I will be 25. I am pretty excited, because for the first time in my "adult years" I am on a good track on my birthday. 23 was BAD, because it was the first month of my unemployment (and an odd, prime number), 24 marked the 13th month without a job, and 25 I have a great job that I love, and I live on my own, like a 25 year old should.

I am leaving for Colorado on Monday! I am taking a trip for New Year's with my awesome college friends. I know it will just be a blast, and between Kara and I, we will have so many pictures it will be sickening. Kara will have some video, and she will more than likely need to put a disclaimer on her blog stating the chance of adult material in the videos she will post. We might get crazy....

Hope you all have a Very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

until next time...

the first one in 37 days

2009-11-07T10:32:00.002-06:00

Your eyes are not playing tricks on you...I am posting a new blog finally! I am going to try to start back blogging more often. I have (but of course) had some funnies happen since my last post 37 days ago. Let's see...

Parent/Teacher Conference: This happens once in the Fall and once in the Spring. The Fall PTC happened the middle of October. I was pretty nervous, as I have never done anything like that before. I bet I only had 10 customers all night. My students and I really jive well, except for about 10. Typically, those parents think their kids are angels, but I would love to have a hidden camera to show those parents how their "angels" really act in a confined classroom for 50 minutes. 4th period literally makes me ill. It is right before lunch, and I am extra crank when I am hungry. Ok, so about 6 of the 10 bay bay kids are in that class. So it's tough. One parent came up to me at the PTC and talked about her little one that is in my Keyboarding/Typing class. She talked for a few minutes--and in that few minutes there were about 46 grammatical errors. She only had about 8 teeth, total. She talked and was actually on my side. She recognized that her child did not try. So after about 5 minutes of me cringing at her poor grammar, she says-- "So, how do you like being involved with the band?" I am sure I had the look of "Where's Ashton Kutcher" at this point, as I was certain that I was being punked. Mind you I teach all of the computer classes. I was like..."Um, well, I am not...." She said, "I guess I just always thought that the Keyboard was like the Piano, and someone with the band taught that..." I nearly peed my pants as I told her that the keyboard that I taught was on the computer...Every teacher beside me was in hysterics, just like me, and this poor parent found it less that amusing, but soon found the humor.

Fast forward to Thursday of the next week. Homecoming week. I was in charge of Homecoming. I had to make a lot of phone calls and needed my cell phone for that. During that lovely hour of 4th period I had to run something to another teacher. I came back to my classroom and there was a message to call the flower shop to make last minute arrangements since NOTHING went my way that week (BTW--she asked me if it would just be OK to use silk ferns instead of real mums, and I said absolutely not, I would rather just have nothing than silk (FAKE) anything.) So I went grab my cell phone off my desk, and you guessed it, It WAS NOT THERE. One of my sweet angels stole it. After strip searching every student, and 2 1/2 hours later, it was found. Neat. It was in a kid's underwear. I wanted a new phone, but settled for a thorough Clorox wipe cleaning and a week of using the speakerphone because I was not about to place it next to my face....

That was the day before Jaclyn and Brad's wedding. I knew that I had to find my phone, because I was not about to drive to Bentonville with no cell phone. But lucky me, it just in someones pants.

Stay tuned for more, I will post my toast for the Wedding...

until next time....

the one about school and TV

2009-09-29T16:43:00.003-05:00

Hi Strangers, it’s me—your quirky friend. I have been MIA for quite some time now, huh? It’s been a rough few weeks for me. Starting with the beginning of school (UCA)…it’s kind of hard for me to let loose and have fun on the weekends because I know how much I have to get done before Monday evening. I have a teacher that is pretty much impossible to impress. I consider myself to be a decent writer. I certainly have my own style, that might not be textbook perfect, but it gets the point across. This is one of the reasons that I have not blogged in a while; she has turned me away from writing. I refuse to let a picky teacher get in the way of my “therapy.” I made a C on the last paper I wrote for the following reasons: I did not cite the sources how she would cite them, I did not have enough “facts” to support “my point of view” (although it was a response paper, that I assumed my point of view would be necessary), and the website from which I chose to retrieve my information was “not that interesting—to her.”So, being the opinionated person I am, and since my opinion was not up to par in the paper, I decided to write her a little email. I told her that either I was just not getting what she wanted, or (this is the kicker) she was not very clear in explaining EXACTLY what she was looking for. She was not very happy with that, but I had to say it. I picture her to be an old cat lady that has nothing to do but pick out errors in citation from a graduate level paper that is damn near perfect everywhere else. We will see what kind of score I get on this last paper I wrote that was due yesterday. Maybe I’ll get an A, but I am certainly not holding my breath…

My friends are telling me that I have not been the Jake they know and love. I am not being fun. Honestly I know that, and I think the events that have occurred in the past few weeks have not helped. First of all, no one my age should have to deal with the death of a great friend. It is just not normal to deal with such a tragedy. I have had a hard time with it. I pray everyday that God will give me the strength to use it in a way that I can help others, and not dwell on the sadness of it. I think another reason it is bothering me so much, is seeing how much it got to my parents. My sweet mother is a crier to begin with. But this has really gotten to her. No parent should have to deal with something of this magnitude. I can only imagine how lonely and betrayed his parents must feel. It is out of sequence for a child to pass before the parents. This is me questioning God, like I know I am not supposed to do. Sorry.

On to something happy: The new fall TV lineup. I am loving it. I watch Glee on Wednesdays. It is funny, dramatic, and just a good show. The first episodes were better than the last couple, but I am still watching religiously. Cougar Town and Modern Family make me laugh out loud. These just started last week, and I already can’t wait for the next episodes. Courtney Cox is genius. She is the best actor from the whole cast of Friends. She is just good, and I love her. Modern Family is here to stay. It will be the next 2 and Half Men—here for a while. Then, of course I watch about 20 total minutes of Dancing With the Stars a week—even though it is on for about 5 hours a week. I like Kelly Obsourne and Aaron Carter. What else, OH…Amazing Race started last night. I freaking love it. Ashley and I want to be on so bad, and as soon as we apply we will be. No doubt. I am over being on Big Brother right now…Then Brothers and Sisters. It was good, but it makes me sad because Mom and I used to watch it together (when she stayed awake long enough) before I moved out. I think I need to make a date with her on Sunday nights to pick up where we left off…

I know this was a long one, and I plan to write more often. I refuse to let her tarnish my image of writing…have a good week!

until next time…

.....

2009-09-13T14:36:00.003-05:00

All joking aside, guess I am confused. Many times I say this to be funny or to be sarcastic, but today I really am confused. We are always taught the generic lessons in life: "all things happen for a reason" "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" We hear these things, and think we understand what they mean until we are faced with such a situation to test our faith. Thursday evening I learned that one of my very close friends was killed at war. I immediately thought that it wasn't true. This is not supposed to happen to my friends, my age. What is this? It must be a bad dream. But sadly it is the truth, and it was then time to deal with it.

Tyler Parten was born just less than a month after me, in January 1985. I feel like by March of 1985 we probably already knew each other's cries and coos. I can't remember a time from my childhood that does not include Tyler. One of my earlier memories of Tyler is one that makes me laugh. My mom let me invite Tyler over to play, and I remember she made us cookies. Tyler thought it would be real funny to crumble every cookie up to make crumbs and pretend like we were cookie monster. He was always a little more apt to take risks than I was. I ALWAYS got talked into it some how...Another time Tyler's mom told Tyler, Daniel, and me that if we would pick up pecans in their yard, she would pay us. Tyler and I convinced Daniel (his little brother) to leave his bag sitting in one spot and bring the pecans back to the bag instead of carrying the bag around with him...well Tyler and I (all Tyler's idea) stole all of Daniels pecans and convinced him that mean black crows ate them...I will not even mention what pranks Tyler pulled after the Home Alone came out...

Tyler has redefined "hero" for me. Up until now, when I would hear of a fallen soldier it made me sad for the family, but now it has put things into a whole new perspective. There was no one in the world like Tyler. There are no words other than "HERO" that I can use to describe him. He was an AMAZING Christan person that lived his life for God and ONLY God. He appreciated everything, especially nature and music. He loved the simplest form from the cotton fields in Marianna, to summit of Kilimanjaro. He has seen so much in his short 24 years on this Earth. There is no resume that could really explain all of his accomplishments. From the time anyone met Tyler, and had more than about 5 minutes with him, knew he was a special person. And I know that Tyler died a hero, but more importantly with no regrets. His family and friends knew exactly how he felt about each one of them. My heart goes out to his family. I can't imagine what it must be like to deal with a loss of this magnitude. I know that Tyler is with out a doubt in Heaven loving every minute of it. God certainly got one of the best angels I can think of...

I think from this, my lesson to be learned is this: No matter what you do in life, make sure you are right with God, right with YOURSELF, and live each day as though it's your last. Because we a not promised tomorrow.

Peace be with you Tyler.

the one that catches yall up

2009-09-08T08:10:00.002-05:00

Since I have an hour to kill, and that is rare, I thought I might catch y'all up on my life. We will start with school (that I teach). It started off a little crazy, and well, who am I kidding, it's still that way. It has gotten better. The first lesson plans I made were less than par. Example--I thought my first lesson would take two days to get through. I was way off. 20 minutes into the class we were finished. That is poor time management, and I am a stickler for exceptional time management. The lessons have gotten better. Right now I am sitting in the La Quinta Ballroom in Little Rock for a New Business Teacher Conference. I thought it started at 8, but since I am the only one in the room, I am assuming it doesn't start until 9. Neat. I woke up at 5:15 this morning to be here by 7:30 to check in, park, etc... Yet another waste of time. Thursday I will be on the ASU campus for a yearbook workshop since I wear that hat also. The best part: I will be taking 12 students with me, and I AM DRIVING THE SHORT BUS. I knew that was always where I belonged.. My students think it is of utmost importance to have a picture of me driving the bus to put in the yearbook. That should be a blast...

Now on to UCA. Did I mention driving to UCA is already so tired? I don't know ho I will muster up the energy (every Monday) to make it to Conway. I have to keep reminding myself that I will have a Master's at the end of this.

I am somewhat settled into my humble abode. It is so nice to finally have my own place. I do miss a few things about living at home, but I quickly remind myself that I am 24, and shouldn't have my clothes washed for me (except by my cleaning lady :)). I still have a few big purchases to make before I will be satisfied: a grill, patio furniture, and a few other things here and there. But for the most part, I am very happy! I will have to post some pictures later.

It's about time to start, so I will TTYL.

until next time...

the one about my first day [with students]

2009-08-19T22:26:00.004-05:00

Soooo...my first day was just great! I honestly did not know what to expect AT ALL. I think that forced me to expect the worst. I have 6 classes total. Three of them are the same--Keyboarding. All 8th graders. I try not to pick favorites (classes), but it is hard for me to even begin to think that they will top my list. Eighth grade is just an awkward year for all students I think. They are not as scared as the seventh graders, so that makes them act out, and they are WAY more immature than 9th graders... My other classes consists of Juniors and Seniors. I really like them.
We did not get much time today due to registration lasting two hours this morning, so tomorrow is the first actual day with full 50 minute periods. I don't know that I will be able to come up with something to do for each class for 50 minutes..I have made lesson plans for the rest of this week, and this weekend, I am going to try and tackle the rest of August.

Speaking of the end of August, guess who is moving to his own house and going to be a big boy [again]? ME! That's right, I'm moving into a house on Main Street. I am too excited. I will be moving in just as soon as the other renters move into their new home. Hopefully I'll get to start moving in about a week!

I need to get some sleep, to TTYL.

until next time....

the one with a better day

2009-08-11T21:30:00.002-05:00

Ahhhhh...That is my almost-to-the-normal-playing-field, yet still very much reserved sigh of a bit of relief. Yesterday when all of the new stuff was thrown my direction, I had no idea what on Earth was being spoken of. Not even the most remote, slightest clue. BUT today, thanks to a fellow Business teacher, I have better understanding that is a touch more clear than muddy water. She did her best to fill me in. I learned more in that 34 minute phone conversation than I have all summer in grad school. BIG thanks to Beth :).

ALSO, more stress came in the form of ordering new textbooks. Since what I teach is 100% computer/technology based, information is quick to become obsolete. So I took a look at the previous text books [none produced after Y2K], I knew I had to do some stressing--this time on the importance of updating. So guess what? I got ALL new text books for EVERY SINGLE class I teach. Well, we all know new books and new software go hand-in-hand. That's right, I talked the Principal and Super into Microsoft Office 2007. Am I a force to be reckoned with or what? Come to find out, the most genius person EVER who is no longer at Barton already ordered sample books ALREADY. They are seriously awesome. EACH book has software that could pretty much be taught without a teacher. There are lesson plans, test, reviews, power point presentations, study guides. EVERYTHING is included. I felt like I won the lottery.

Tomorrow's staff development is with the elementary teachers, and I am so happy. I already miss my elementary co-workers terribly. There is a good chance my mentor for the year is one of my favorite elementary teacher co-workers from last year, so I have my fingers crossed.

Overall today was good. Let's hope it only gets better. I know tomorrow will be good, as I am going to see Daughtry...

until next time...

the one about my first day

2009-08-10T21:30:00.002-05:00

I am still nervous. Real nervous. And today did not help. It was the first day of professional development at BHS. In between many many deep breaths, and panic attacks within, I constantly heard the little voice inside my head telling my everything will be fine [maybe]. It was my first day in a certified meeting, and for the most part I was completely lost. I have never in my life heard so many things be abbreviated. How in the world will I ever remember all I am supposed to remember? Pretty much all I got out of today's meetings was my duty day is Thursday. That sure is beneficial to know. It was so tempting of me to tell the administrators to let me have my old job back and forget about this grown-up real job. But once again the little voice told me to press, and try to absorb as much information as possible. I did take up with the principals wife, and she was VERY helpful. I think she has been teaching for about 40 years (no lie), so she knows what's up. I also met 3 young people that are new this year. They are Teach for America teachers, and they are all real nice. I can't wait to learn their stories. I scanned the surface today, but did not want to seem creepy, so I will wait to drill them with the deep questions next week. I have 6 classes: 3 keyboarding classes, desktop publishing, word processing, and computer applications. I am also the Yearbook and FBLA sponsors. YIKES. I have a full load, and not to mention six hours of grad school... Hopefully I will not have a nervous breakdown. I would love a prayer from you :)

until next time...

i am nervous.

2009-08-05T22:28:00.005-05:00

I am really nervous about my first day teaching in a real classroom, with real students, that get real grades that are determined by how I present the information to them, and if they study it...HOLY !#$%. I have really been thinking hard about this the past two days. I am finished with school (where I am a student) for the summer and I know it is quickly approaching. I know I have always said I don't care what others think, but I think students are the toughest critics. What will I do if they don't like me? What will I tell them are the things "I like to do" when they ask [without going too far]? How much do I tell them about my personal life when I get asked? Will they judge me? Will they try to run over me since they are only about 6 years younger than me? I don't know that I have ever been so nervous about something. I don't do nervous. I am confident, until it comes to teenagers. Students, and lessons, and test. OH MY...

i am a teacher. i will change the world one student at a time.
this is my prayer/motto.

until next time...

the one about my [bad] luck

2009-08-05T09:38:00.003-05:00

My luck was decent (that means nothing too serious) for a while now, deep in my mind that scared me. I knew it was coming, but I just did not know when or how bad it would be. Well, as [my] luck will have it, it came Monday afternoon at about 4:00. I was helping a fellow teacher get her classroom ready for the school year in West Memphis. I knew I had lots of homework to do before the day was up, so I was really thinking hard about the assignments [as I was driving]. My mind was not necessarily fully concentrating on the road ahead. We all do that right? Our mind tends to stray. I specifically remember thinking and weighing options regarding my taking the interstate from West Memphis, or to take Highway 70. It was approaching rush hour, so I decided to take 70. As soon as I did not get on the interstate, I remember thinking to myself that it felt wrong. I think I just had a lot on my mind. As I am driving down 70, I get behind a really slow car. I decided I needed to pass. As I was about to pass, I realized there was another car in front of that car, and I could not make it. I slowed down, and thought the car in front of me sure is following closely... As we approach Lee-Hi, I was noticing the really good looking peaches at the produce stand. I was thinking really hard about pulling into there...Shouls I/shouldn't I??? Next thing I know, I have given that slow car [I considered passing earlier] a serious enema. That's right. I rear-ended that Kia so hard, she slammed into that other car she was following so closely. All because I was looking at those peaches. I jumped out of my car [that died on impact] to make sure no one was hurt. I was really concerned that one of the ladies would claim their neck hurt. Lucky for me, they were so normal. I called 911, and 80 minutes later, the cop finally showed up. It took him forever to get there. I filled out the paper work, that for every time I had to enter a date, for the year I guess I was confused because I put 1984 for every year. The policeman was real confused, and he asked me if I traveled back in time...Yes. I did, didn't you know its 1984...He then proceeded to let the other ladies go, but I got a careless driving ticket. Of course I did. Luck was definitely NOT on my side on Monday.There were other reasons my luck failed me: When I got back in my car I realized my volume was on 27--an ODD number--read here to understand my quirk about even and odd numbers. Also, my biggest argument: I was wearing Chacos. Those are sandals with a lot of straps. As I always do when I drive more than 20 miles, I took my feet out of my shoes. As I went to slam my breaks, my feet got tangled and I could not hit the brakes. So now, I have to get my car fixed, and I'm sure my insurance will go up really high, all thanks to peaches, odd numbers, and Chacos...

until next time...

the one where I baked a cake

2009-07-31T16:06:00.003-05:00

So now I know what it feels like for people who don't have friends and it makes me want to go give them a hug and ask if they want to be my friend. Since everyone I know is on vacay this week, I have not had much to do. Watched movies, check; painted canvases, check; baked a cake (details in a minute), check...So I have really felt like I was on a deserted island this week. I went to dinner with my parents last night. I nearly foundered on Mexican. Duh. I don't know what I was thinking when I assumed I would stick to my diet. I think its the complimentary chips and salsa. I could literally eat my weight in chips and salsa. Get Kara and I together, and we can do some serious damage. When we lived together we literally bought gallons at a time from Sam's and would eat it in 3 days. I just love it--and most all other food for that matter, but chips and salsa take the cake.

Speaking of cake, I was watching one of my favorite channels on TV--the Food Network--and this gal was making a "not your wedding" cake. I have heard of "not your birthday" cake before, but not the wedding version. Although one time for my birthday, I had wedding cake as my cake..It was delicious. So she gave the basic ingredients, and left alot to the imagination. Like what to fill it with (I chose apricot) and instead of just vanilla extract, she suggested almond, lemon, or banana. I chose almond. WOWZA. I have never had such a (for lack of better word, as I hate this one) moist and dense and creamy and flavorful cake. I also made homemade butter cream icing. I could have eaten the whole bowl of it. And being the ace of cakes that I am, I chose to do 3/4 parts the vanilla it called for in the icing, and to compliment the flavor of my cake, I added 1/4 part almond extract. YUM O. So you know I like to take things to the next level, always. I googled/you tubed how to make fondant. I wanted my cake to not only taste good, but to also be a work of art. I made a marsh mellow fondant to layer over my icing. That is where I needed Julia Child. I made 3 mistakes right off the bat. My cakes were done, and still too warm for icing. But I am impatient, and iced my cakes only to have the icing melt right off. Then, I did not shave the top of my bottom layer for the top layer to sit flush,and it cracked. I did not have the right tools to ice my cake so it was a hot mess, literally. I did not even attempt to use the fondant. BUT, my cake tasted damn good, it just looked like a blind man baked it.

Hope all of you have a great weekend, ciao.

until next time...

the one with a random survey

2009-07-27T15:11:00.002-05:00

1. What time did you get up this morning? 10:00
2. How do you like your steak? medium rare
3. What was the last film you saw? Swing Vote
4. What is your favorite TV show? Friends and American Idol
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? I'll throw a dart and go, I have no where in mind...
6. What did you have for breakfast? diet coke
7. your favorite cuisine? very close between Mexican and Italian
8. What foods do you dislike? bananas, not republic..
9. Favorite Place to Eat? Any cheap Mexican joint
10. Favorite dressing? vinagrette
11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? 4 Runner
12. What are your favorite clothes? winter ones
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? NYC, LA, Australlia, Africa, Italy...the list goes on forever..
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? as long as it has diet coke in it, im fine.
15. Where would you want to retire? um, not Marianna..
16. Favorite time of day? meal time
17. Where were you born? Memphis
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Football--mostly for the weather
22. Bird watcher? notta
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? definitely NOT a morning person.
24. Do you have any pets? no, im too into myself to care for anyone else..
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I have 2 A's in my grad classes right now..
26. What did you want to be when you were little? an orthodontist, probably because I liked mine so much, and I had to visit him often to help fix my bucked up grill...
27. What is your best childhood memory? playing with neighbors, and selling paintings for a quarter.
28. Are you a cat or dog person? not really either...
29. Are you married? refer to #24
30. Always wear your seat belt? Yes
31. Been in a car accident? a few..
32. Any pet peeve: when the faucet is too close to the sink in public bathrooms and I have to get my hands so close I touch the sink...
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? pepperoni
34. Favorite Flower? I guess Peonys since my friends farm them..
35. Favorite ice cream? just vanilla
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? subway or taco bueno
37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? once, but the second time I made a 96
38. From whom did you get your last email? J.Crew
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Best Buy or J.Crew
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? yeah, read about our night in Memphis..
41. Like your job? yes. love it, especially in the summer :)
42. Broccoli? please.
43. What was your favorite vacation? disney world and the beach
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Kelly, Tyler, and Clare--at 10:30
45. What are you listening to right now? my thoughts, how scarry.
46. What is your favorite color? blue and gray
47. How many tattoos do you have? last count=zero.
49. What time did you finish this quiz? 3:28

the one about my unproductive weekend

2009-07-26T20:47:00.002-05:00

I have done absolutely nothing this weekend, at all. Well, let me restate that--I have not done anything productive until this afternoon. I have watched a record amount of hours of TV and movies. I mentioned the Brat Packers I watched yesterday, and in addition to that, I caught up on some TV series. 1. Southern Belles: Louisville. I had no intentions of watching this show, but a friend thought I would like it and recommended it. It is my least favorite of the shows I have watched this weekend, but it is worth watching. Especially to look at hot Hadley. She is a "belle" on the show, and smokin hot. She is just the type of girl I would go for. Speaking of, Thursday night I went to Memphis with some friends. We went to the rooftop party at the Peabody, but somehow spent more time downstairs in the bar than we did on the roof. It was a touch sketchy, so we decided to leave after the only option at the bar was Budweiser or Jaegar Bombs...We then went to pig out at Hueys at 11:00, so very healthy of us...As we were walking to the car, in true Freshman style, we decided to visit one more bar--Silly Goose. Back on track, this hot girl approached me, and asked if she saw me at the Peabody. I said yes, and she went on about her way to the Ladies room. My friends were hounding me to go up to her at the bar and buy her a drink...OK, after I watch her give her number to someone else, I approach her. We talked for about 30 minutes. She was really cool. We talked about college, mutual friends, etc...Then comes the shocker. I said something funny, and she said "Oh, my son would think that is so funny." That's when it was time to go because I was suddenly stone sober. Just my luck. I can deal with alot, but not kids. Sorry, group's full...

2. Ruby--this is the story of a 700 pound woman who now weighs 350. She is from Savannah, and is so funny. I like her, and also think we would be friends if we knew each other.
3. The best news of 2009, Dirty Sexy Money is back. I couldn't be happier. It is only for 4 episodes, but maybe there will be high ratings and ABC will order a full season for the Fall, let's hope.

I am angry about 1 thing. I submitted a 5 page assignment about some stupid rules. It was due yesterday at noon, and I submitted it by then. I woke up in the middle of the night only to remember that I forgot to attach my works cited page. I emailed the teacher my assignment WITH the works cited. I checked my grades tonight. 90%. I was penalized 10 points because I did not submit it "on time" or "in the correct way." Give up the power trip and accept my assignment via email...that bugs.

Hope you all had a good weekend, and a great week to come. It's my last full week for class. I have to go 1 time after this week and I am so happy. I will have complete 12 hours, that's 1/3 of the way!! I'm proud of myself and going to toot my own horn...TOOT TOOOOOOT!

until next time...

the one that marks a year

2009-07-25T17:11:00.003-05:00

I was looking back at some older posts, as I do when I am bored--only to realize how much better life is now than it was a year ago. I was without a job, and broke. I have been blogging for a whole year now. That's a lot of BS. Ha..

I have one week of school left this semester, and I am so ready to have a break for a bit. I have to even checked to see when school starts for the Fall, but I don't care. I know i'll get at least 3 weeks of vacay, and that is enough for me. It is not that it is just that terribly bad, I could just think of about 30 things I would rather be doing than driving back and forth to and from Conway, TWICE a week. Once I get there, its not bad, it's just making myself get there. Does that make sense?

I watched 2 "Brat Pack" movies today, and thoroughly enjoyed them both. Thanks to Ashley, she recommended St. Elmo's Fire, which I am already ready to re-watch, and About Last Night. I watched it second, and it was not quite as good as the first, but still a good one. I love those kinds of movies. I have my Netflix list full of Brat Packers.

My camera. I have the worst luck with it, and this time it's gone for good. I had it in my pocket of my "lake trip" t-shirt after I got out of the boat last weekend, and it just fell out, jammed the lens, and not it tells me there is a "lens error." Duh, it won't come out. I am so confused why everything is not waterproof/dropproof. Someone needs to invent a cell phone and camera that are bullet proof. I did get some good pics from the weekend:

the one about the fish

2009-07-13T20:46:00.002-05:00

Ashley on Thursday afternoon: "I am so looking forward to this weekend. It is going to be low-key and relaxing." Yeah right. Friday night's ''small cookout" turned into a large time. I had a craving for a yummy oriental salad. I stopped by Wal-Mart on my way home to pick up the ingredients and headed over to the Harden's. I have to say, this weekend I really outdid myself in the kitchen. Along with the salad, we had roasted asparagus, grilled Hawaiian chicken, and my one mistake--burned rice. I was too into the conversation to remember that the rice was literally jumping out of the pot when I went in to check on it 30 minutes later. Ashley tells me her pot is ruined, but I think not. We sang and danced to the ipod until 1 am. That is what time I retired to bed.

Then Saturday we went to Oakwood for a few hours, but the sun was in and I was still sweating like ______________,(I have so many similes regarding how bad I was sweating that i'll let yall fill in your blank.) that we left pretty early. I rode with Ashley and she wanted to stop by and say hi to Marilyn, so we did, at 3:30. Around 4, she asked if we wanted a beverage, and it all went downhill from there. We were all feeling like having Mexican, since we were discussing if the rumor we heard was true about Marianna getting an Ameca. Shut the front door, if there is an Ameca in town, I will no doubt gain 20 pounds. So at 8, I went to Edward's to get the needed ingredients for chicken nachos. I made "the best ones ever" according to Mare and Ashley. They were pretty tasty. After midnight rolled around, I took Ashley's car home because she was too "tired" to drive me.

Yesterday, I went to Sunday School. Yes, I woke up in time. I came home packed my stuff and was ready to go to the river. The Mississippi River. I was a touch frightened, but after some liquid courage I got over my fears pretty quickly. While we were there, I experienced perhaps the funniest thing ever...So we were boating along, and in the River, there are these really big fish that get excited whenever they hear a boat motor in the water. So they all start jumping out of the water, literally like whales do. Ashley and Jay told me before that they had never NOT had a fish jump in the boat with them. So as we were slowing down to get in the water, one sure enough jumps into the boat, right at Marilyn's feet. She flipped shit. I have never seen anyone move that fast and freak so bad. Remind you, fish are not my thing either, but I totally forgot I was laughing so hard at Marilyn. If we would have had it on video, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that we would win funniest home videos. Remember she is from Atlanta, and is not keen on the outdoors. It was a good thing we were near water because I peed my pants a little bit....

What a weekend. Class tomorrow and Wednesday, massage on Thursday, and Heber for the weekend...the annual trip...

until next time...

the one about classes

2009-07-08T09:37:00.002-05:00

Don't worry about me. I'll be in Conway for the next month solid. Not really, but almost. This week I have to be there Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow. That's equivalent to about 600 miles in 3 days, neat. I am in 2 classes this semester that are way way more interesting that the Literacy Seminar that I took last semester. I actually think these classes will help me in my first years of teaching. They are A&P of Teaching and Classroom Management. Both of which I go TO Conway for. But after this week I will just have to go on Monday and Tuesday, hopefully. And let me just tell you how hard it is to pass by Taco Bueno TWICE in one week. Real. Not to mention there is a new Slim Chickens and a MOE's (the second best thing to Flying Burrito). It is no wonder that college kids get so stinkin fat. 18-22 year olds are in no position to make "healthy eating decisions." I did go to Slim's after my 13 question ESSAY final last week, but I got grilled chicken, carrots, and celery. Boring, but I got my fix. In my class last night, I realized that I need to live a little more. Not that anyone had anything just real interesting, but when it came time to tell something interesting about yourself, I had nothing. I said that I tried out for Wheel of Fortune. Not too interesting. Last term, one girl's last job was working as an intern for NBC. She knew the whole SNL cast...I was, of course, in awe. I immediately ran to join her group and asked her to tell me everyone she knew that was famous...I think she thought I was a touch off.

So it is becoming more and more real that I am actually going to be the teacher in charge of the classroom. I am really really nervous, but I have ordered this book that is really great. It is by a guy with the name I would choose in the event I needed to pick a new name: Harry Wong. How funny is that. I am not sure it is his God-given name, but it's funny either way. It's like the what to expect when you are expecting for first-time teachers. I have some ideas of "ice breakers" that will be interesting. I will have quite a few interesting blogs about that, I'm sure.

until next time...

the one about the holiday

2009-07-06T14:48:00.004-05:00

Are you all confused and thought I quit blogging? To be completely honest, I have forgotten about it. Let me think about where I left off...Michael Jackson. Tomorrow is his memorial service and I think if I lived a bit closer, I would try to go. But that isn't happening, so I will have a moment of silence tomorrow. I have finished 6 hours of grad school as of Friday, and tomorrow I start 6 more hours. I have to press to be finished by the beginning of next school year. These past 6 hours have required more writing than my entire undergrad. I guess I'm confused why there is so much writing involved.

Since I am at a total loss as to what I have last discussed, I will fill you in on my holiday weekend. It all started on Thursday, when I finished my 14 page research paper on Autism. I was ready to celebrate. Shea called and asked if I might be interested in going over to Mud Island to see New Kids On the Block. Duh. I was ready. I just knew 1992 would come screaming back like it had never left. Jesse McCartney opened. I was pretty impressed that he sounded pretty good. His songs are the epitome of bubble gum pop, but sometimes we just need to disregard our sense of self and do the new kids dance... I think I was more excited to have met an American Idol contestant, Alexis Grace. We chatted for a bit, and she is continuing her musical journey. I told her that Kris and I went to the same school. But, Kris DID go to UCA for undergrad, and NOW I go there. She doesn't have to know we have never crossed paths. Here is a pic:

NKOTB was great. Friday, Shea and I rode with her sister's family to Heber. We had the best time. The lake is always nice. Last night I saw Wicked. I have seen lots of shows at the Orpheum, but that was hands down the best. I don't think I ever blinked. It is the story of the Wicked witch from The Wizard of Oz. It is just so clever.

I was pleasantly surprised when I found out today was a holiday for UCA. No class until tomorrow...Hopefully it won't be bad this semester....I promise to blog more, or at least until I get busy again with school...

until next time...

RIP

2009-06-25T19:07:00.002-05:00

What a sad day for MJ fans... I am such a huge fan of Michael. He is one of the greatest entertainers of ALL time. I am just in total disbelief. I always thought before I died, I would get to see one of his amazing shows. I am not one of the total crazy fans that will release doves, but he was so entertaining to me... I will dance to Thriller with a new sense of appreciation next time. Rest In Peace, Michael.

the one that's spontaneous

2009-06-18T13:44:00.003-05:00

Spontaneous. That is how I will define this blog. I have not been much of a blogger this Summer huh? I just have other things on my mind I guess...

My brother is 21. I really can't believe it. I know my parents feel old. Sorry Mom and Dad, but you must think that...I will be 25 this year, and Matthew is 21. Both of us are [technically] adults. That's crazy. Last night my parents had a get-together for Matthew's birthday. We had a crawfish cook at the pool at my house. It was a good time. Lots of people came, which doesn't surprise me because Matthew never meets a stranger. He is friends with everyone, literally. So we had around 50 people...I had too much fun.

I am officially employed by the Barton-Lexa School District as of yesterday. I signed my contract. Yay, that means I officially will have a job for a whole year. That's nice to know in this economy. I didn't make much money from January until now, because I was technically an aide. But not that I am going to be a real teacher, I got a $20K raise! That's awesome to me. Next on my list is to move into a new home. I love my parents, but there is a reason 25 year olds don't live at home. My parents are great, but sometimes it would be nice to escape [other than to my bedroom]. Also, I keep seeing these DirecTV ads and I can get cheep rates and get the E! channel. Basic cable does not carry that in Marianna. We are a few [hundred] steps behind...I don't have anywhere to move to right now, since there aren't just lots of places to choose from. I have a few things in mind.

I am halfway finished with my first semester of grad school. That's nice. I can't think of anything worse than spending 8 hours [2 going, 4 in class, and 2 coming home] of my Monday listening to a FOUR hour lecture on Literacy. I guess I am confused, because I will be teaching 10-12, and hopefully they can read. I won't hold my breath...

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

until next time...